Rules of a Muslim Home (#4) - Tarbiyah of our Families (Part Two)

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How do we make the tarbiyah of our children?

1. Win their confidence: Firstly we have to win the confidence of our children. This can be obtained by adopting the characteristics mentioned in part one. By winning their confidence, they will take their parents as their role models and take to heart whatever advices are given to them. 

2. Narrate to them incidents of the pious: Stories play a vital role in moulding the mind of a child. Whatever a child hears in the form of a story is more impressionable than just mere facts. Daily fix some time to read an incident from the lives of the Ambiyaa (alaihimus salaam), Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), and the Salafus Saaliheen (pious predecessors) before putting them to bed. This is extremely beneficial. Experience bears testimony that this method is very effective for tarbiyah. The greatest benefit of narrating stories to children is that it instils the value of deen into their minds and hearts. After narrating the incident, explain to them the morals or the lessons learnt there from. 

3. Ta’leem (Daily kitaab reading): Our pious Ulama Kiraam and elders have mentioned that among the most powerful tools for the tarbiyah of any household is daily ta’leem at home. They have advised the reading of the fadhaail kitaabs (viz. Fadhaail e Aamaal and Fadhaail e Sadaqaat of Shaikhul Hadeeth Moulana Muhammad Zakariyya rahimahullah). This should be fixed as a daily practice. The entire family should be gathered at a suitable time when everyone is free and spend approximately ten minutes in reading the incidents and the ahaadith from these books.

4. Dressing: Be extremely particular about their dressing. From a young age, get them into the habit of dressing according to the sunnah. Children should neither be made to wear clothing that resembles the west nor should they be made to wear clothing resembling that of the opposite gender (e.g. girls wearing jeans and boys wearing earrings). This impacts negatively upon the tarbiyah of our children.

(to be continued. - Tarbiyah Part 3)