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Spending on One’s Child

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Last Updated on Thursday, 25 June 2020 15:36

(Advice of ‘Allaamah ‘Abdul Wahhaab Sha’raani [rahimahullah])

Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) would say, “Training people (i.e. instilling in them correct character, qualities, etc.) is more difficult than training animals.”

Imaam Shaafi‘ee (rahimahullah) would also say, “Spend on your children, wife and servant to the extent of need. Do not completely hold back from spending on them, as they will then develop a strong disliking for you. At the same time, beware of giving them more wealth than they require, for they will become independent and you will lose control over them, as their obedience to you will be in proportion to their (financial) dependence on you.”

I heard my esteemed senior, ‘Ali Al-Khawwaas (rahimahullah) mentioning, “Do your best to give your children the correct upbringing, and make every effort to instill the disinterest of the world and its attractions within their hearts. Do not give your children money in their hands (i.e. to spend at their discretion), as they will then use the money to fulfill their desires and buy things that will corrupt and destroy them. Allah Ta‘ala mentions in the Quraan Majeed, ‘Do not give, to those who are weak in understanding, your property which Allah Ta‘ala has made a means of support (and sustenance) for you, but rather you provide for them with it and clothe them, and speak to them words of kindness.’” (Surah Nisaa v5)

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Maintaining Moderation in Upbringing #1

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Last Updated on Thursday, 20 February 2020 15:16

(Advice of ‘Allaamah ‘Abdul Wahhaab Sha’raani [rahimahullah])

‘Allaamah ‘Abdul Wahhaab Sha’raani (rahimahullah) was a renowned ‘Aalim and saint who was born in Egypt in 898 A.H. and passed away in 973 A.H. He writes the following:

One of the bounties of Allah Ta‘ala which I enjoyed was the bounty of entrusting the upbringing of my children and my brothers to Allah Ta‘ala (i.e. I made the appropriate effort to raise them correctly, but trusted in Allah Ta‘ala to make my effort successful, instead of trying to force my children to submit to my will).

I judged and gauged their actions in the light of the Quraan Majeed and sunnah. Hence, when they carried out a praiseworthy action, I would tell them, “Thank Allah (for enabling you to carry out this action),” and when they carried out any disapproved action, I would tell them, “Repent to Allah Ta‘ala.”

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What to Play?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 21 November 2019 16:07

It’s often said that children are like ‘tape recorders’. They have the uncanny ability to repeat words or statements that they hear, often verbatim, and sometimes at the most embarrassing moments. That is why people are often cautioned to watch what they say in front of their children, as the tape is always turning and cannot be switched off or erased thereafter (read more on this topic here).

To understand the effect of the ‘tape recorder’, think of those children whose parents use different forms of media to occupy or calm them. In most cases, these children, after some time, are able to sing entire songs or nursery rhymes from the beginning until the end, word for word, with almost no mistakes!

Hence, the question is, “What if we harness this unique and powerful ability of a child and use it for the benefit and empowerment of the child?” In other words, what if we carefully select certain things that we want the child to hear, and ensure that the child hears these things over and over again? If we do this, we will certainly succeed in entrenching certain vital and important things in the child’s brain, thus taking advantage of the child’s natural ability to equip him in life.

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The Ultimate Kindness​

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Last Updated on Thursday, 29 August 2019 16:54

Every mother knows that it is impermissible for a child to breastfeed after the age of two. At the same time, mothers understand that their infant children cannot progress from a purely milk-based diet to a diet of solids overnight. If this drastic, unfamiliar change is thrust upon the child in an instant, he will struggle to adapt and his digestive system will suffer.

In exactly the same way, we all know that once a child becomes baaligh (reaches the age of maturity), it is compulsory for him to perform all the five daily salaah on time. Furthermore, in the case of a male, these salaah will have to be performed in the masjid.

Just as a mother begins weaning her breastfeeding child in advance, and gradually introduces solids to him, so that when he is two years of age, he is already accustomed to solids and can easily make the transition, the parents should adopt the same approach for their children’s salaah.

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The Stranger Danger​

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Last Updated on Friday, 26 April 2019 07:22

In an age where kidnapping, child-trafficking, child-abuse, drug addiction, gangsterism and other societal scourges are on the rise, almost every parent will, at some point, stress and emphasize on their children the danger of strangers. Parents warn their children to never take a lift with a stranger, never speak or disclose personal information to a stranger and never accept a gift from a stranger. In short, they urge them to never stay close to strangers.

Such is the concern for safety that if any father hears a sound in the yard (let alone in the house itself), he will rush to the defence of his near and dear ones. He will press the panic button, grab his gun, switch on the flood lights and phone the neighbours.

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