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Have I Given Up as a Parent?

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 05 February 2013 10:20

Many parents nowadays have a common concern and complaint - they cannot speak to their children anymore. If they do try to speak to them, it ends up in a fight or argument. Thus most parents today have simply given up. However to “give up” is to abandon one’s duty and responsibility as a parent. To make an effort on our child is our duty. This is within our control. However the fruits of our efforts, that the child becomes rightly guided, depends on the command of Allah Ta’ala. This is definitely not within our control.

Since we have become so absorbed in wanting to see the fruits of our efforts, we have as a result given up the effort itself which was within our control. We must continue to encourage and advise our children. We should also constantly make du’aa for them and beseech Allah Ta’ala thus: “Oh Allah Ta’ala, You alone can guide and safeguard my child against the trials and challenges of the day.” Let us be positive by looking at the power of Allah Ta’ala and not be negative by looking at our own weaknesses.

   

No Children as Yet

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 05 February 2013 10:19

To get married is in one’s control but having children is not in one’s control. While adopting the means is within our control, seeing the fruits of the means is out of our control. Allah Ta’ala alone controls everything. A person of Imaan will never get angry nor blame someone for something which is not in that person’s control. The doctor can only explain to the couple the possible reasons for them not having children. Thereafter he may prescribe various medical treatments. His expertise ends at this point. He cannot guarantee the couple that they will have a child. At times we get so engrossed in adopting the various means, that we unconsciously completely forget our Allah Ta’ala, the sole creator and controller of everything.

   

Mother and Child, a Unique Bond

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Last Updated on Monday, 27 May 2013 14:14

The most precious wealth of any nation is its children. They are the future of any nation. Today they maybe playing on the laps of their mothers, but they are the very ones who will turn out to be the builders of tomorrow. The mother and child enjoy a unique bond, which in turn adds to the mother’s responsibility of nurturing her child. The mothers lap is either going to be a garden of good qualities from which her child will enjoy or a pit of evil habits that will haunt and take over the innocent child. If the mother is pious, she performs her salaah on time, daily she makes time for Quraan, zikr and du’aa, she displays good character and she stays away from sin, then automatically the child will follow the same pathway. It is not possible that a person plants flowers and only weeds will grow. The good we sow is the good we will harvest.

 
   

Messed with Blue & Red Ink

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 05 February 2013 10:21

Imagine a child going for the first time to his father’s desk. The exciting pens, the pencils, eraser, letter-opener, etc. are all neatly arranged on one side. He begins to explore and investigate the use of each item. In a few minutes the entire place is in a mess. He also turns the inkpot upside down and the ink runs on his fingers, onto the papers, the desk and the carpet. The child obviously had no idea of the consequence of his innocent explorations. Gripped with fear , the child now starts wiping the ink off his fingers on the front of his clothes and he hastily starts wiping the ink off other items using whatever pieces of paper available to him. 

Now, what should your reaction be, to this child? Should you scream at him for his innocence? You judge for yourself. Would punishing such a child not be unfair to him? His curiosity got the better of him. He made a mistake. He did not know the reality of what he was doing. Would it not be better to sit with him and explain to him the wrong he has done, the mess he has made and the danger of exploring things on his own?

   

Goodness brings Goodness

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 05 February 2013 10:23

The conditions affecting the mother during pregnancy tend to affect the child within her as well. Infact, some physicians are of the impression that the conditions affecting the parent during intercourse affect the habits and disposition of the child as well.

Therefore during pregnancy, the mother should ponder at length over the religious achievements of some pious personality. This, will Insha-Allah Ta’ala produce a pious off-spring. If both parents perform their Fajr salaah in the morning following the night of conception, Insha-Allah Ta’ala the child will be obedient to Allah Ta’ala. If Fajr salaah is missed, there is a fear that their children will be disobedient to them, just as they have been disobedient to their Allah Ta’ala. As parents, we are the gardeners of our children. What we plant today will be harvested tomorrow. Our lives of goodness will bring such children into this world that are also full of goodness.

   

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