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Equality between One’s Children

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Last Updated on Thursday, 16 February 2017 15:57

Allah Ta‘ala has instilled a deep love within every parent’s heart for their children. This love manifests itself in many ways. At times, the parents may hug and kiss their children, at other times they may show them kindness and affection, while sometimes they give them gifts.

Love is an emotion over which a person does not have complete control. Hence, it is possible for a parent to naturally have more love for one child than he has for the other. Since this increased love is something over which he has no control, Allah Ta‘ala will not take him to task for having more love for one child than the other. However, our behaviour is something which we do have control over, and thus Allah Ta‘ala will take us to task for showing more favour to one child than the other.

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The Silent Recorder

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Last Updated on Thursday, 24 November 2016 14:28

A young child is like a recorder. Every laugh and cry and scream and sigh around them is recorded. However, on account of the recorder being silent, nobody realizes that they are being recorded.

These recordings are thereafter played, from time to time, through the years that follow. If not played through the ‘speaker’ of the child’s mouth, they play out through his actions – and actions speak louder than words.

Every child starts with a clean slate and thus has the potential to record anything – be it good or bad. The environment which the parents create for the child thereafter determines what the child will record and re-enact later on in life. If the environment was polluted with sin and evil, the child will be corrupted – often for the rest of his life. On a positive note, if the environment is one of Islam and Deen, the child will be a reflection of the pristine teachings of Islam for the rest of his life.

The child’s recording cannot simply be ‘deleted’ and ‘rewritten’. Hence we have to exercise the greatest level of caution in ensuring that it is only the values and qualities of deen and Islam that are recorded by the child. Doing this will ensure that the child will succeed in this world and the next.

   

Fed Up!

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Last Updated on Thursday, 13 October 2016 15:50

Ever heard of the ‘terrible two’s’? It’s the age where your endearing, innocent angel suddenly seems to transform into a bundle of tantrums. Even a mundane task such as feeding him or her becomes a battle of wills with the kitchen floor serving as the battlefield, covered in the debris of yet another meal refused.

Soon after follow the ‘terrifying threes’, ‘fearsome fours’ and ‘furious fives’. This breakdown in behaviour sometimes even continues into the ‘sour sixes’, ‘sneaky sevens’, ‘evil eights’ and ‘nasty nines’!    

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My Child’s Comfort

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Last Updated on Thursday, 01 September 2016 16:07

Sayyidah Zainab (radhiyallahu ‘anha), the beloved daughter of Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), passed away in the eighth year after Hijrah.

Anas (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) mentions, “When Zainab (radhiyallahu ‘anha) passed away, we emerged with Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) (to attend to her burial) and saw that he (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was extremely grieved and sad. (Such was his grief) that we did not speak to him until we arrived at the grave. When we reached the grave, we found that it was still being dug. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) therefore sat for some time, speaking to himself and glancing at the sky, while we sat around him. When the grave was ready, Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) descended into it and I saw his grief intensify. When he had completed burying her and emerged from the grave, his blessed face was radiating relief and happiness. We therefore asked, ‘O Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! We saw the extent of your grief and hence were unable to even speak to you. We thereafter saw that you were suddenly very happy. What was the matter?’ He (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said, ‘I had remembered the narrowness and grief of the grave and I thought about Zainab and her weakness. This thought grieved me. I therefore made du‘aa to Allah Ta‘ala to grant her ease from the constraints and grief of the grave. Allah Ta‘ala accepted my du‘aa and granted her ease’.” (Majma’uz Zawaa’id, vol. 3, pg. 166)

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Don’t Interfere

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 20 July 2016 14:24

It often happens where the child misbehaves and is thus deserving of punishment. However, while one or both of the parents are expressing disapproval and wish to punish the child, the other parent or other parties (grandparents etc.) laugh at the “performance” of the child and try to protect the child. This is extremely detrimental as it confuses the moral compass of the child. The child is lead to understand that my behaviour is only disapproved in the eyes of my parents whereas others admire my antics. This encourages the child to “perform” for his spectators and to also resent his parents for punishing him as he feels that his ill behavior is actually acceptable.

Furthermore, the child becomes cunning and realizes that he can get away with ill behavior in the presence of these “protectors” and thus turns to them to continually undermine the authority of his parents.

It is thus essential that we do not, in any way, interfere when a parent metes out an appropriate punishment to their deserving child.

   

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