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Are My Children Faithful and Responsible?

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(Advice of ‘Allaamah ‘Abdul Wahhaab Sha’raani [rahimahullah])

Some seniors have mentioned that when your son grows up (and commences adulthood) then you should treat him like your (younger) brother (i.e. do not continue treating him like a child, but rather begin to train him by gradually giving him responsibilities and monitoring his progress).

I once saw a person who entrusted all his wealth to his son before he had tested his son (to see whether he was responsible and trustworthy or not). The son then said to the father, “O my father! I fear that my brothers will fight with me for this money. They will demand from me the money that I want to spend on you and your dependents. Hence, I want you to sign a document in which you relinquish all control of the money to me so that none of my brothers will have a valid case against me.” The father (trusted his son and) did as his son requested, after which his son claimed ownership of all the money and did not give his father even a single dirham (silver coin).

Something similar transpired with my senior, Muhammad Al-Birmaawi, and his son, and another ‘Aalim with his son, and one of the Mashaayikh and his son (and countless other people).

So beware, O my brother, of making the same mistake! In fact, I have seen something even more grievous than that. I saw a son complain regarding his father at the home of the governor, the home of the qaadhi (judge) of the army, and the home of the king. He complained (falsely) saying, “My father produces counterfeit money.” If it was not for the mercy of Allah Ta‘ala on his father, the rulers would have executed him (for this crime of which he was falsely accused).

I saw another person who had imposed every type of restriction on his son (i.e. he was too strict on his son). On one occasion, while they were outside the home of the governor, the boy grabbed hold of his father’s collar and called out, “O Muslims! This old man has evil intentions for me! He wishes to engage in indecent actions with me!” Before a group of people could arrive from the market to inform the governor that this man was actually the boy’s father (and was innocent), the father had already been given a severe beating and had been fined a substantial amount of money.

This, I saw with my own eyes. So, beware of the times in which you live, O my brother.

(Al-Minanul Kubraa pg. 484)