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Hearts make Homes

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Last Updated on Thursday, 05 November 2015 10:34

All it takes to build a house is a few hands. To build a home, however, hearts are needed. When bricks join and bond, a house is made and when hearts join and bond, a home is made. For married couples to make a home, it is essential that they “have a heart” – be tolerant and overlook each other’s faults. If they are not willing to forgive and forget, trivial issues will erupt into big arguments. This will eventually result in the couple becoming the talk of the town with their “dirty laundry” hanging out for all to see.

When cutlery is kept together in the same drawer, the spoons and forks will definitely clash and make noise. Similarly, when the husband and wife are close, some arguments are bound to take place. Despite the bickering and arguing, if one of them has to pass away, all the fights will be forgotten and the surviving partner will cry over the happy memories.

It often happens that a divorce is issued in the midst of a heated argument. Only later on do the couple come to their senses, at which point they start wringing their hands in regret. The depression, at times, even drives them to the point of insanity. Couples thus need to bond their hearts in such a way that they insha-Allah remain united until death does them apart. 

   

A Rose without Thorns?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 13 August 2015 15:41

A man once entered a tattoo parlour and asked the artist to give him a tattoo. “What tattoo would you like?” the artist enquired. The man pondered a moment then declared, “A Lion! A ferocious lion with his fangs bared, about to roar and pounce on his prey!”

The tattoo artist nodded and began to prepare his needles and ink while the man settled back with a dreamy look of anticipation on his face - how grand the lion will look! How his friends will marvel! But as soon as the artist began working, he yelled in pain and jumped! “Ow!” he exclaimed. “What are you drawing?” “The tail.” replied the artist. The taste of the pain still fresh in his mind he muttered, “Skip the tail, he won’t need to swot any flies away.” The needle was then placed on a lower spot to tattoo the feet. The artist had hardly started when the man once again yelped in pain and sheepishly said, “Leave out the feet, this lion doesn’t need to go anywhere.” The artist then placed the needle on a third spot to tattoo the head. “No! No!” he moaned, “this lion has no need for a head.” This was too much for the artist. He put his needle down in disgust and walked away saying, “Can there ever be a lion without a tail, feet and a head?”

Read more: A Rose without Thorns?

   

Childish Adults

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Last Updated on Thursday, 26 March 2015 11:29

“The most detested of permitted actions in the sight of Allah Ta‘ala is divorce”.

“Allah Ta‘ala has not created on the surface of the earth anything more hated by Him than divorce.” These are the blessed words of Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam).

Our beautiful deen of Islam guides us to maintain a relationship of love and affection. However, if a couple, despite all efforts, cannot reconcile and fear that by remaining together they will transgress the laws and limits of Allah Ta‘ala, in such a situation Allah Ta‘ala has allowed the option of a separation as a last resort.

Read more: Childish Adults

   

Keep it Under Control

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Last Updated on Thursday, 12 February 2015 07:02

The husband getting angry should not be used as an excuse for the wife to also get angry. An obedient child understands that the parent needs to be respected, thus the child despite getting angry, holds back all undesirable words and actions in the parents presence. Likewise, the wife needs to realise the respect that is due to the husband and accordingly she needs to control her tongue and feelings. At times a woman may find it so easy to spend hours in zikr, du‘aa, and in the recitation of the Quraan Majeed, but it is so difficult for her to control her tongue and anger in the presence of her husband. It is indeed a burden on her nafs (inner self) to suppress one’s anger. Thus she should always remind herself of the virtue and reward of opposing her desire and respecting her husband. This will motivate her to remain an obedient and pleasant wife. Later, in a diplomatic and amicable manner, she may address the issue at hand.

   

Once a Day

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Last Updated on Thursday, 20 November 2014 09:49

A common saying is: “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Likewise, some marriages are on the point where the following will apply: “A smile a day keeps Shaitaan away.” This refers to keeping Shaitaan away from destroying the marriage. In many cases, the husband looking at his wife once in the day with love and affection, and the wife speaking even once a day in a soft and loving tone to the husband, may be enough to keep the marriage alive. Obviously, the more this happens, the better.

Unfortunately, some wives will speak to strangers in sweet tones and likewise some husbands will speak with much compassion and even affection with customers, colleagues and other strange women. This is haraam. The sweet tones and affection must be directed to the spouse, not strangers. Out of need, when one has to speak to a non-mahram,  then it should be direct and straight to the point, where the person addressed does not even have the courage to ask anything further. We should also lower and protect our gaze as this will help us to appreciate the beauty of our spouse.

   

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