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The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

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Last Updated on Friday, 08 February 2013 06:16

1. When your husband enters the home, always make salaam cheerfully and give him a warm affectionate smile, no matter how difficult your day may have been. Similarly, when he leaves the home in the morning, make a point of making salaam and kissing him. Salaam is a means of engendering great love and happiness in the home. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) advised Anas (radiyallahu anhu) thus: “Oh my son! When you enter your home, make salaam to your family, it will be a means of blessings for you and for them” (Tirmizi #2698). (NB: Any act of intimacy, no matter how small, must NEVER be done in the presence of children, even if they are not of a discerning age.) 

2. If you had a difficult or tiring day, try to appear cheerful. Do not tell him your difficulties as soon as he enters the home. This could cause him to become angry. Gradually try to win his compassion and sympathy. 

3. You should abstain from all things and every form of behavior that your husband disapproves of. Acquaint yourself with his moods and act accordingly to earn his pleasure. 

4. Do not increase his worries. Strive to become a source of comfort and peace for him. 

Read more: The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

   

The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part1 - Ahaadeeth & Obedience)

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Last Updated on Friday, 08 February 2013 06:19

Ahaadeeth:

Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The woman who offers her five times salaah, fasts in the month of Ramadaan, protects her honour and obeys her husband, has the choice of entering Jannah from whichever door she wishes to enter from” (Ibnu Hibbaan #4163). Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The woman who passes away in such a state that her husband is happy with her will enter Jannah” (Tirmizi #1161). Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) also said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone besides Allah Ta’ala, I would have commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband. If the husband orders the wife to carry the boulders of one mountain to the next and then to a third, she should do so” (Ibnu Maajah #1852).

Obedience:

1. Obey your husband in all permissible matters. This will draw the mercy of Allah Ta’ala. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “After the Taqwa (fear) of Allah Ta’ala, there is no favour that a believer may enjoy better than a pious wife. If he instructs her she obeys him, if he looks towards her, she brings delight to him, if he takes an oath for her to do something she carries it out and if he is away from her (on a journey, etc.) she acts in good faith regarding her personal self and his wealth” (Ibnu Maajah #1857).

2. Never regard your obedience and service to your husband in mundane acts as insignificant. In fulfilling his wishes, you are obeying the command of Allah Ta’ala who has made incumbent upon you total obedience to your husband (in permissible matters). Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said to a woman: “Your husband is either your Jannah or your Jahannum” (Muwatta Imaam Muhammamad #951).

Read more: The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part1 - Ahaadeeth & Obedience)

   

The object of Marriage

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Last Updated on Friday, 08 February 2013 06:21

One of the primary objects of nikah (marriage) as explained by Allah Ta’ala in the Quraan Majeed is that we may find sukoon (peace of mind and contentment of the heart) in our partner. The object is not that we get a very wealthy or a highly qualified husband. In the present times unfortunately we choose a husband on the basis of our worldly pleasures and desires.

No doubt after such a marriage we do enjoy temporary fun and pleasure, but we are definitely deprived of a pious deeni life, peace, contentment and eternal happiness. If the foundation of a marriage is Islam and piety, then only will the couple be a means of tranquility to each other. If there is no deen in a marriage, then that marriage will be full of stress, restlessness and sadness. Tea without sugar has no sweetness; marriage without Islam has no real happiness.

   

Opposites make a Match

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Last Updated on Friday, 08 February 2013 06:23

A very pious and soft natured lady married a very ill-tempered husband. One day the wife said to her husband “You are indeed unfortunate. You have been staying with me for such a long time and yet you have not reformed yourself.” The husband replied, “Why call me unfortunate? Could there be anyone more fortunate than me, that I have a wife like you. In fact you are the unfortunate one that you have a husband like me.” 

At times marriages seem to be a combination of two persons with direct opposite personalities. If one’s marriage feels the same, then keep in mind that this is common. All we need to do is to turn to Allah T`alaa and thereafter to work as a couple through our differences. Many have done it and enjoy a happy marriage. You too can do the same.

   

Dealing with Inlaws

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Last Updated on Friday, 08 February 2013 06:22

Faqihul Ummah, Mufti Mahmood Hasan Gangohi (rahimahullah) was among the great luminaries of the recent past. He served as the Head Mufti of the world renowned Darul Uloom Deoband for many years, during which he also taught Saheeh Bukhari. Thousands of students had qualified under his hands in the science of Hadeeth and jurisprudence, including many Senior Ulama and most of the Senior Muftis of our country. Hazrat Mufti Saheb (rahimahullah) was also the spiritual guide of thousands of people throughout the world. His sterling advice has helped thousands of people to overcome many problems and difficulties.Hereunder is an answer to a question posed to him.

Respected Mufti Saheb

As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh

I am now living with my in-laws and life has become very difficult. My husband is very unfair to me. He cares more for his mother and sisters while I get the ‘back seat’ for everything. I am treated like dirt while he thinks the world of them. My husband has now decided to go for Umrah and intends to take his mother and sisters along but does not intend taking me with him....

Read more: Dealing with Inlaws

   

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