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Dealing with Inlaws

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Faqihul Ummah, Mufti Mahmood Hasan Gangohi (rahimahullah) was among the great luminaries of the recent past. He served as the Head Mufti of the world renowned Darul Uloom Deoband for many years, during which he also taught Saheeh Bukhari. Thousands of students had qualified under his hands in the science of Hadeeth and jurisprudence, including many Senior Ulama and most of the Senior Muftis of our country. Hazrat Mufti Saheb (rahimahullah) was also the spiritual guide of thousands of people throughout the world. His sterling advice has helped thousands of people to overcome many problems and difficulties.Hereunder is an answer to a question posed to him.

Respected Mufti Saheb

As Salaamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh

I am now living with my in-laws and life has become very difficult. My husband is very unfair to me. He cares more for his mother and sisters while I get the ‘back seat’ for everything. I am treated like dirt while he thinks the world of them. My husband has now decided to go for Umrah and intends to take his mother and sisters along but does not intend taking me with him....

Respected Sister

Wa Alaikumus Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh

A wife generally has such intense love for her husband that she always tends to regard her husband’s love for her as deficient and lacking. She remains under the misconception that the husband has no feelings for her whereas in reality the husband has great love for his wife. However, the wife’s intense love demands that the husband’s affection and love for his mother, sisters, friends, etc. should also be directed towards her. Nevertheless I make Du`aa to Allah Ta`ala that He make your husband most loving towards you and enable him to fulfil your rights. 

Whatever difficulties you experience from your husband, regard it as a means of the forgiveness of your sins. By exercising patience you will gain the nearness of Allah Ta`ala. 

Whoever your husband wishes to take for Umrah, he will also receive the full reward of their Umrah. Despite having the desire to accompany him, by adopting sabr (if he does not take you along) you will also receive the full reward of your husband’s `ibaadah as well as a separate reward for exercising patience.

May Allah Ta`ala instil complete love between you and your husband.