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Keeping the Spark Alive

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When a couple just get married, they experience the feelings of romance and excitement that accompany the phenomenon of being newly-wed. Hence they constantly think about each other, continuously send messages to each other and keep giving each other gifts.

As time passes, however, and life settles into its routine, these initial feelings of excitement fade. While this is perfectly normal and nothing to feel depressed over, as a person cannot constantly live in ‘honeymoon’ mode, it does not necessarily mean that the spark in the marriage has to die out completely. Rather, by maintaining the spark in the marriage, the husband and wife will continue to find satisfaction in each other and the chances of them falling into haraam will be decreased. Hence, even when maintaining the spark, our intention should be that we are doing this out of appreciation for the gift of marriage which Allah Ta‘ala has given us and to ensure that we do not fall into haraam. By making the correct intention, even these seemingly mundane actions will become a means of reward.

In keeping the spark alive, we do not have to resort to extravagant and elaborate strategies. Rather, it’s the small things that count, the things that show that we care and make our spouse feel appreciated. It can be as simple as taking out the time to send a message saying, “Miss U’ or some other endearment, or giving a small gift, even if it be their favourite chocolate. In all these, however, it is the thought that counts and thus the more thought that seemed to go into it, the greater the impact will be. Hence even a small chocolate can be given – provided that it is attractively wrapped, as this shows the amount of love and attention to detail that was invested. Similarly, even though we can instantaneously communicate via smart phones, taking out the time to write a few words on a card accompanying the gift gives the gift an entirely new flavour.

Remember, by keeping the spark alive, our marriages will be more fulfilling and will serve the purpose of keeping us out of sin to a greater degree.