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The Map of Marriage


Any intelligent person undertaking a very long journey – through a route which he has not travelled before – will ensure that he makes adequate preparations before he departs. He will seek advice and directions and will make enquiries regarding the road and what to expect. After making all the appropriate preparations and taking all the necessary advice and directions, he will most likely carry a GPS to guide him along the way and prevent him from taking any wrong turns.

Marriage is also a journey. However, the journey of marriage is meant to last a lifetime. It takes one through different terrains and past various sceneries. While it may generally be smooth sailing, like a luxury car on an open freeway, there are sometimes the odd and unexpected gravel patches. While the route may mainly usher one past gardens, rivers, waterfalls and rolling seas, it does also sometimes lead one through dry and quiet deserts. If the traveller keeps his eye on the road and focuses on his destination, he will insha-Allah safely pass through all the hills and valleys as well as gardens and deserts.

The Mu-min’s (believer’s) destination in marriage, like everything else, is the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. The perfect, all-terrain vehicle that will transport him safely and smoothly through the open freeways as well as the rocky patches is Deen – the path of the Quraan Majeed and sunnah, while the advice of the ‘Ulama and elders is the GPS, assisting them to remain on this path.

As long as the couple are in the right vehicle and remain on the path of Deen and focused on their destination, insha-Allah they will travel smoothly and will not have a bumpy ride. They will thus travel safely through their journey of marriage, until the angel of death makes them part from each other.