Home Family Matters Marriage The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

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1. When your husband enters the home, always make salaam cheerfully and give him a warm affectionate smile, no matter how difficult your day may have been. Similarly, when he leaves the home in the morning, make a point of making salaam and kissing him. Salaam is a means of engendering great love and happiness in the home. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) advised Anas (radiyallahu anhu) thus: “Oh my son! When you enter your home, make salaam to your family, it will be a means of blessings for you and for them” (Tirmizi #2698). (NB: Any act of intimacy, no matter how small, must NEVER be done in the presence of children, even if they are not of a discerning age.) 

2. If you had a difficult or tiring day, try to appear cheerful. Do not tell him your difficulties as soon as he enters the home. This could cause him to become angry. Gradually try to win his compassion and sympathy. 

3. You should abstain from all things and every form of behavior that your husband disapproves of. Acquaint yourself with his moods and act accordingly to earn his pleasure. 

4. Do not increase his worries. Strive to become a source of comfort and peace for him. 

5. Endeavour to eat and drink from the same utensil. Sometimes place a morsel of food in each other's mouth (not only to be practiced when newly-wed). This will increase mutual love and one will be rewarded for this. 

6. Control your tongue at all times. One of the main reasons for the breakup of marriages is the misuse of the tongue. Thereafter you will regret for the rest of your life. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “He who keeps silent is saved” (Tirmizi #2501). Remember that wounds afflicted by swords may heal, but the wounds afflicted by the tongue very seldom heal. 

7. It is the wife's obligatory duty to beautify and adorn herself for her husband only. When leaving the house it is forbidden for her to adorn herself for all and sundry. A hadeeth states: “A woman who applies perfume and leaves the home is like an adulteress” (Tirmizi #2786).

8. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “It is not permissible for a woman to keep an (optional) fast without her husband's permission” (Bukhari #5192). 

9. Respect and honour your husband's parents as your own. Address them politely and treat them kindly as you would treat your own parents. For the sake of your own happiness and for the sake of your husband, it is essential to maintain a good relationship with your in-laws. 

10. Regard his family as yours. Never insult his family nor use past events or his background to hurt him. You can never acquire the love of your husband if you attempt to disrupt his relationship with his mother, father, brothers, sisters and other relatives. Disruption of family ties is amongst the worst of the major sins and invites the wrath of Allah Ta’ala.  

11. If your husband is troubled with worries or is depressed, then be sympathetic and encourage him to discuss the problem with you. Make du' aa for him. Be an anchor of support and a pillar of strength for him, by practically expressing your moral support. This will lnsha-Allah make him truly appreciate your heartfelt concern for him.

12. Show him your trust and do not pry into his affairs. Do not ask too many questions. Safeguard his assets; he will have great trust in you.