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Bidding her Husband Farewell

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(Sayyidah Asmaa bintu ‘Umais [radhiyallahu ‘anha] – Part Five)

During the year 8 A.H., the momentous Battle of Mutah transpired. This was just a few months after Sayyidah Asmaa bintu ‘Umais (radhiyallahu ‘anha) and her husband, Sayyiduna Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), arrived in Madeenah Munawwarah from Abyssinia.

When dispatching the army, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) appointed Sayyiduna Zaid bin Haarithah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) as the commander of the army. However, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) also mentioned, “If Zaid (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) is killed, then Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) will be the commander, and if Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) is killed then ‘Abdullah bin Rawaahah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) will be the commander. If ‘Abdullah bin Rawaahah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) is killed, then the Muslims should appoint someone among themselves.”

From this statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) understood that these three Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) would be blessed with martyrdom in this battle. Subsequently, all of them were martyred by the enemy.

Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) mentions:

When Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and his companions were martyred, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) came to (break the news to) me. At the time when he came, I had tanned forty skins, had prepared the dough (for the daily bread) and had already bathed my children, applied oil on them and had seen to it that they were neat and tidy. When Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) arrived, he said to me, “Bring me the children of Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu).” When I brought the children to him, then (out of love for them and pity for them,) he began to inhale their smell, as his blessed eyes flowed with tears.

Seeing him weep, I asked, “O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! May my father and mother be sacrificed for you! Why are you weeping? Have you received some information regarding Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and his companions?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) answered, “Yes, they were killed today.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then instructed his family, “Do not neglect to prepare food for the family of Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), as they will now be occupied with his death.”

Three days later, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) again went to visit the family of Sayyiduna Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu). On this occasion, he (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) held the hand of her son, Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), raised it and made the following du‘aa thrice, “O Allah! Grant Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) a good replacement in his family, and grant ‘Abdullah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) blessings in the transaction of his right hand (i.e. in all his transactions, as the right hand was generally used to conclude business deals).”

Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) then mentioned her concern to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), regarding her children being orphans (and the difficulty that she would face in supporting them). Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) consoled her saying, “How can you fear poverty for them, whereas I am their guardian in this world and the next?”

Thereafter, when the army was arriving back in Madeenah Munawwarah, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) went out to receive them. As he entered Madeenah Munawwarah with the army, the children came running to meet them. Seeing the children, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed, “Take the youngsters and let them ride with you on your animals, and give me the son of Ja’far (to carry with me).”

On the demise of Sayyiduna Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) recited the following poetry to mourn his passing:

I take an oath that my soul will remain grieved over you and my skin will continue to be covered in dust.

May those eyes be sacrificed for Allah Ta‘ala that saw a youngster who could match him, as at the time of battle, he was most skilled in his attack, most fierce and most steadfast.

(Saheeh Bukhaari #4261, Majma‘uz Zawaaid #10275 & #10282, Seerah Ibni Hishaam vol. 4, pg. 382 and Al-Bidaayah wan Nihaayah vol. 4, pgs. 270 - 283)

Lessons:

1. The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) were prepared to make any sacrifice for Deen and the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. Hence, the men sacrificed their lives, the women sacrificed their husbands and the children sacrificed their fathers. In the case of Sayyiduna Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), he had only been in Madeenah Munawwarah for a few months, and he and his family knew that he would probably not return, yet he still set out bravely, happy to give his life for Deen. At the very least, we should be prepared to sacrifice those things in our lives which displease Allah Ta‘ala, be it music, movies, intermingling and chatting with non-mahrams, etc.

2. When Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) expressed her concern regarding seeing to her children’s needs, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) told her that she had no need to worry, as he was their guardian in this world and the next. When a person strives to always please Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) by adhering to his blessed sunnah and shunning sins, then he too will enjoy a special relationship with him. This special relationship will benefit him in this world and the next.

3. When Sayyiduna Ja’far (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) passed away, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed his family to prepare food for them as they would be occupied with dealing with the tragedy. This is the teaching of Islam, that wherever possible, we try to bring comfort and assistance to people, especially in their hour of need. From this, we also understand that the ‘funeral home’ (home of the bereaved) should not become a ‘function home’, with other people eating meals there, as this causes great difficulty and inconvenience for the bereaving family who have to attend to these people, feed them, etc.