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Proposing to a Widow


Last Updated on Monday, 30 March 2015 16:11

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّـهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّـهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّـهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ ﴿٢٣٥﴾

“There is no sin on you if you hint as a proposal to the women, or conceal it in your hearts. Allah knows well that you will make mention of them, but do not make a promise to them secretly (to marry them) except that you speak in a recognized manner. Nor resolve upon a contract of marriage until the prescribed time is reached (the iddah is completed). Be sure that Allah knows what is in your hearts. So fear Him and be assured that Allah is most forgiving, forbearing.” (Surah Baqarah, v235)

A widow still passing her ‘iddah may not be sent an explicit marriage proposal. If it is sent indirectly or by the use of ambiguous words, there will be no prohibition, e.g. he tells her not to grieve for Allah Ta‘ala will provide her another husband, etc. There will also be no sin to conceal one’s intention to marry within the heart. Allah Ta‘ala has given such concession, but He has prohibited the mixing of the two in secret, as well as their marriage before the expiry of the ‘iddah.


The Third Divorce


Last Updated on Monday, 16 February 2015 06:47

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِن بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ ۗ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يَتَرَاجَعَآ إِن ظَنَّآ أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّـهِ

 “Thereafter if he (the husband) divorces her (the third time), she shall no longer remain lawful for him unless she marries a man other than him. Should he too divorce her (voluntarily after consummating the marriage), then there is no sin upon them in their returning to each other, if they think that they would maintain the limits set by Allah Ta‘ala.” (Surah Baqarah, v230)

The most despised lawful action in the court of Allah Ta‘ala is divorce. It should only be issued after much deliberation. In any case, if it is deemed absolutely necessary, the best way to divorce is to pronounce one unambiguous divorce during a period of tuhr (purity) in which no sexual contact was made.

If the husband issues a third divorce, he cannot ever wed her again unless she has then married another person, the marriage was consummated and the husband either died or divorced her and she completed her ‘iddah. It is makrooh tahreemi (close to haraam) for an agreement to be reached between a couple to marry, consummate the marriage and then be divorced merely in order to make it permissible for her to marry the first husband. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has cursed such people.


The ‘Iddah of Divorced Women


Last Updated on Monday, 24 November 2014 14:48

وَالمُطَلَّقـٰتُ يَتَرَبَّصنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلـٰثَةَ قُروءٍ ۚ وَلا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكتُمنَ ما خَلَقَ اللَّـهُ فى أَرحامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤمِنَّ بِاللَّـهِ وَاليَومِ الـٔاخِرِ ۚ وَبُعولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فى ذٰلِكَ إِن أَرادوا إِصلـٰحًا

“Divorced women should wait (abstain from remarrying) for three menstrual cycles (after being divorced). It is not lawful for them to conceal that which Allah Ta‘ala has created in their wombs if they (really) believe in Allah Ta‘ala and the last day (i.e. they should not keep their pregnancy a secret). If their husbands desire reconciliation, they have the right to take them back (into their marriage) within this period (of ‘iddah).” (Surah Baqarah, v228)

A woman who is not expecting but menstruates will wait till the completion of three menstrual cycles before terminating her ‘iddah. A pregnant woman will wait till she gives birth. She has to be honest as far as her menstrual cycles or pregnancy is concerned. If the husband issued one or two revocable divorces, he has the right to take her back within the ‘iddah period even without her consent. 


Eelaa’ - The Oath not to go to Ones Wife


Last Updated on Thursday, 16 October 2014 15:11

لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَائِهِمْ تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍ

“Those who take oaths (not to cohabit) with their wives (for four months or more) should wait for four months (during which time the husband may either break this oath and pay kaffaarah or be divorced from her).” (Surah Baqarah v226)

The husband takes an oath, “I swear by Allah that I will not have relations with you for four months.” The rule with regards to this is that if he does not engage in relations with her for four months, then talaaqul baa’in will take place (i.e. the nikaah will terminate, thus without remarrying they cannot live as husband and wife). However if the husband breaks his oath and has relations with his wife within four months, then a divorce will not take place. He will nevertheless have to pay the kaffaarah for breaking his oath.


Forbidden Ways of Bed Relations


Last Updated on Monday, 01 September 2014 14:52

نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّى شِئْتُمْ

“Your women are your fields ( where your seeds are planted), so approach your tilling fields as you desire ( from any direction as long as the husband  enters the front passage only, so that children can be conceived ).” (Surah Baqarah v223)

The reference to enter one’s tillage denotes that the woman may only be entered from that passage which will serve to produce children, since she would otherwise not be a productive field. Only a foolish farmer will waste his seeds in an area that is non productive. Living in a shameless society today, immoral and disgusting ways of satisfying man’s carnal desires have become acceptable and the norm of the day. It is only Islam that protects and stops us from the forbidden and shameless anal and oral sex.


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