Protection against Shaitaan

وَإِنِّي سَمَّيْتُهَا مَرْيَمَ وَإِنِّي أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

“(The mother of Maryam [‘alaihas salaam] said) I have named her Maryam and I place her and her progeny under Your shelter against Shaitaan, the rejected.” (Surah Aal-‘Imraan v36)

Hanna, the mother of Maryam (‘alaihas salaam), sought the protection of Allah Ta‘ala from Shaitaan for her daughter and her progeny. We too should turn to Allah Ta‘ala and make du‘aa for the protection of our children. We should place our trust in Allah Ta‘ala and not in the material means that surround us. To lose all hope of our children reforming and changing their lives is a clear indication that we have forgotten our Allah Ta‘ala, the Being Who can guide whoever He wishes.

She chose the name “Maryam” which means a worshipper. We too should keep names with good meanings for our children. The object is not to keep a unique or rare name; rather we should keep a name that has a pious effect on the child.

Dowry on Divorce

وَإِن طَلَّقْتُمُوهُنَّ مِن قَبْلِ أَن تَمَسُّوهُنَّ وَقَدْ فَرَضْتُمْ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً فَنِصْفُ مَا فَرَضْتُمْ إِلَّا أَن يَعْفُونَ أَوْ يَعْفُوَ الَّذِي بِيَدِهِ عُقْدَةُ النِّكَاحِ ۚ وَأَن تَعْفُوا أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ ۚ وَلَا تَنسَوُا الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ

“If you divorce them before you have touched them, while you have already fixed for them an amount of dowry, then there is one half of what you have fixed, unless they (the woman) forgive or forgives the one in whose hand lies the marriage tie, and it is closer to taqwa (righteousness) that you forgive, and do not forget to be graceful to one another.” (Surah Baqarah, v237)

If the dowry was not stipulated and the wife was divorced or the husband died, and this was after consummation, she will receive the standard dowry received by other women of her family. If there was no consummation, but the dowry was stipulated, she is entitled to half the agreed amount. There will naturally be no issue if she chooses to waive the entire amount or he chooses to give the full sum. If the dowry was specified and the marriage was consummated, the full sum will be due from the husband.

Divorce and Dowry

لَّا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِن طَلَّقْتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ مَا لَمْ تَمَسُّوهُنَّ أَوْ تَفْرِضُوا۟ لَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً ۚ وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ عَلَى ٱلْمُوسِعِ قَدَرُهُ وَعَلَى ٱلْمُقْتِرِ قَدَرُهُ مَتَـٰعًۢا بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۖ حَقًّا عَلَى ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

“There is no liability (of dower) on you if you divorce women when you have not yet touched them, nor fixed for them an amount. So give them mut‘ah (a gift), a rich man according to his means and a poor one according to his means. A benefit in the recognized manner, an obligation on the virtuous.” (Surah Baqarah, v236)

The person who does not consummate the marriage, nor stipulates any dowry, will owe the wife nothing when divorcing her. However as a token of good will, he should give her what is termed as “mut‘ah”. This may take the form of a set of clothing consisting of these pieces: a scarf, an upper garment and a third garment that covers the entire body from head to feet.

Lesson: Though the husband owes nothing to the wife in this instance, the Quraan still encourages him to act with kindness and compassion. Divorce is a very difficult matter on both parties, especially the wife. Thus the Quraan exhorts one to include some positive element when terminating this bond due to circumstances that cannot be resolved.

Proposing to a Widow

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّـهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّـهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّـهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ ﴿٢٣٥﴾

“There is no sin on you if you hint as a proposal to the women, or conceal it in your hearts. Allah knows well that you will make mention of them, but do not make a promise to them secretly (to marry them) except that you speak in a recognized manner. Nor resolve upon a contract of marriage until the prescribed time is reached (the iddah is completed). Be sure that Allah knows what is in your hearts. So fear Him and be assured that Allah is most forgiving, forbearing.” (Surah Baqarah, v235)

A widow still passing her ‘iddah may not be sent an explicit marriage proposal. If it is sent indirectly or by the use of ambiguous words, there will be no prohibition, e.g. he tells her not to grieve for Allah Ta‘ala will provide her another husband, etc. There will also be no sin to conceal one’s intention to marry within the heart. Allah Ta‘ala has given such concession, but He has prohibited the mixing of the two in secret, as well as their marriage before the expiry of the ‘iddah.

The Third Divorce

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُ مِن بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُ ۗ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يَتَرَاجَعَآ إِن ظَنَّآ أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّـهِ

 “Thereafter if he (the husband) divorces her (the third time), she shall no longer remain lawful for him unless she marries a man other than him. Should he too divorce her (voluntarily after consummating the marriage), then there is no sin upon them in their returning to each other, if they think that they would maintain the limits set by Allah Ta‘ala.” (Surah Baqarah, v230)

The most despised lawful action in the court of Allah Ta‘ala is divorce. It should only be issued after much deliberation. In any case, if it is deemed absolutely necessary, the best way to divorce is to pronounce one unambiguous divorce during a period of tuhr (purity) in which no sexual contact was made.

If the husband issues a third divorce, he cannot ever wed her again unless she has then married another person, the marriage was consummated and the husband either died or divorced her and she completed her ‘iddah. It is makrooh tahreemi (close to haraam) for an agreement to be reached between a couple to marry, consummate the marriage and then be divorced merely in order to make it permissible for her to marry the first husband. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has cursed such people.