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Rules of a Muslim Home (#3) - Speaking in a Soft Tone

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Monday, 09 July 2012 11:17

The Quraan Majeed declares that Allah Ta’ala has made the home of a believer a place of peace and tranquillity (Surah Nahl, v80). Thus we understand that among the etiquettes of a Muslim home is that members of the household refrain from doing anything that destroys the peace and tranquillity. This includes thoughtless and loud disturbing speech. 

It is mentioned in a Hadith that “A Muslim is he who other Muslims are safe from the harms of his tongue and his hands.” (Saheeh Bukhari #9) 

People living in the same house are more than neighbours and more than just friends. Therefore, it is imperative that they should not hurt one another in any way. Among the most annoying and hurtful behaviour is making noise at home or raising one’s voice so loudly that it distresses others. 

A woman, especially, should be extra careful when speaking. Speaking in a loud tone shows a lack of self-respect and modesty in women. If due to some necessity she has to raise her voice, and there is a fear of strange men listening to it, then she should be careful not to talk in a seductive tone. Rather her speech should be short but not sweet.

Allah Ta’ala has mentioned in the Quraan Majeed addressing the pure wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam):

“Do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire” (Ahzaab, v32)

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Spinach pies

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Saturday, 07 July 2012 15:13

Ingredients:

1 onion - sauté in butter

500g cubed chicken fillet

1 tsp salt

½ tsp lemon pepper

1 tsp garlic 

Ground green chillies (to taste) 

Crushed jeero

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The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

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Thursday, 05 July 2012 07:37

1. When your husband enters the home, always make salaam cheerfully and give him a warm affectionate smile, no matter how difficult your day may have been. Similarly, when he leaves the home in the morning, make a point of making salaam and kissing him. Salaam is a means of engendering great love and happiness in the home. Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) advised Anas (radiyallahu anhu) thus: “Oh my son! When you enter your home, make salaam to your family, it will be a means of blessings for you and for them” (Tirmizi #2698). (NB: Any act of intimacy, no matter how small, must NEVER be done in the presence of children, even if they are not of a discerning age.) 

2. If you had a difficult or tiring day, try to appear cheerful. Do not tell him your difficulties as soon as he enters the home. This could cause him to become angry. Gradually try to win his compassion and sympathy. 

3. You should abstain from all things and every form of behavior that your husband disapproves of. Acquaint yourself with his moods and act accordingly to earn his pleasure. 

4. Do not increase his worries. Strive to become a source of comfort and peace for him. 

Read more: The Road to a Happy Marriage (Part2 - General Conduct)

 

Haraam relationship between females

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Wednesday, 04 July 2012 15:05

Question: 

Assalamualaikum warahmathullali wabarakathu

I am sending you this email in collaboration with my friend. We are both single Muslim girls and we are facing a difficult situation and we do not know what to do about it.

The two of us were and are (to an extent) practicing Muslims, Alhamdulillah. We observe the Islamic dress code and come from families where religion is a priority. We have knowledge on deen but I doubt we have the understanding as we have much to be guilty about.

I am 23, my friend is 19. We started working together on a project in November. The project lasted until January. It was a group project. During this period, we were mere acquaintances but we won't deny that we had plenty of respect and admiration for one another. After the project met its deadline, we somehow happened to become very close. We shared our most personal secrets and became the best of friends. After sometime, we both realized that this was not a mere 'friendship' as we simply could not stop thinking about each other. We would look for reasons to be with each other at all times. 3 weeks ago, we confessed that we felt the same way. And that led to us becoming physically involved. There was and has been no display of our awrah but we know very well that even the extent that we have come to is not acceptable in our religion.

Brother, we know that this is wrong but we feel all of this so intensely. It 'feels' real (We have never felt this way about anyone else before). We want to put an end to this. We want to figure out the 'root' of this so that we can correct the situation at the base instead of merely suppressing all what we feel.

One thing we do know for sure is that our Imaan most certainly cannot be considered strong. We truly fear for our Aakhira brother... We do not want to live our lives under the wrath of Allah.

We do hope you will be able to guide us on this. And help us overcome this. 

Please do make dua for us brother. We are in dire need of it.

Jazakallah Khair

Read more: Haraam relationship between females

 

Continue to be Remembered

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Monday, 25 June 2012 15:16

Ask a hundred people what was the name of their great grandfather and most of them will fail to give an answer. Now if the children themselves do not know the name of their great grandfather, what are the chances of anyone else knowing? This is our reality. Just as we were unknown prior to our birth, we will remain to be unknown within a generation or two after our death. 

Many people regard having boys in the family as a source of pride, since boys will continue to carry the family name. However as highlighted above, one’s name does not continue after death merely by having boys or children, rather our name will continue to shine if our life was spent in the obedience of Allah Ta`ala. We will be remembered for the good we did, the good we said and the good changes we brought in the lives of people.

 

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