Misunderstanding between Spouses

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Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahimahullah) 

Letter

(unedited)

Asalamu alaikum Maulana

I have come across your website at a time when I most need guidance.

I am married for almost one and a half years. My husband and I have a very strong relationship most of the time. However, there are things we don't understand and this is causing conflict between us. I try very hard to be a good wife to my husband. Sometimes I get angry and upset with him. I say or do things in anger without thinking. I need guidance. I feel we don't communicate enough about what is bothering us and where we are going. Sometimes my husband irritates me in a good way but beyond the limit and I am finding it hard to handle. Please give me advice and guidelines on being a better wife. Sometimes he is wrong too, but he won't see it. May Allah reward you, Insha-Allah.

Jazakallah.

Reply

Bismihi Ta'ala

Wa alaikumus Salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Alhamdulillah, you are trying your very best to be a good wife to your husband. Whilst there should be love for the husband, there must also be respect. Getting angry with him, shouting him and abusing him in the manner that he abuses you displeases Allah Ta'ala. That will then affect your marriage.

You state that he irritates you in a good way but beyond limits. If this is the situation, then when he is in a good mood, you must bring it to his attention that you appreciate his attention, but you are irritated when he goes beyond the limits. You must clearly define what are those limits, and what reaction from your side will show that it is beyond limits and irritating you.

Also read Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem 7 times and blow on all the food you cook. Everyone including the children may eat from it. Make lots of tauba from all sins and make lots of du’aa.

Was Salaamu alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Yunus Patel (Maulana)