Home Mother's Corner Tantrum Tasneem

Introduction

Children love stories, and good stories have valuable lessons in them. Thus a very easy way to instil morals and values in our children is through story-telling. In this section, we will be guided as to how to present stories to our children and how to follow them up with lessons.

Tantrum Tasneem

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Ask our children:

1. What does it mean to tantrum?

2. Why do children tantrum?

3. Is it good to tantrum or bad?

4. What should we do if we have a tantrum?

Now tell them the story:

There was once a little girl named Tasneem. She had parents who loved her and a brother and sister who were always kind to her and shared their things with her. However, there was one problem – if Tasneem did not get what she wanted, when she wanted, and how she wanted, then she would have a HUGE tantrum! She would scream, shout and cry so loudly that the neighbours would hear her, the birds would fly away and even the dogs would become scared and start to whine!

One day, when Tasneem came to the kitchen for breakfast, her mother made her favourite toast. But then, she saw that her mother had cut it into four little squares. Tasneem immediately burst into a tantrum, “I don’t want to eat the toast! I don’t want squares! I want triangles today!” Tasneem’s mother tried to explain to her saying, “Tasneem! You always ask me to cut it into squares, that’s why I cut it into squares today! You didn’t ask me, before I made the toast, to cut it into triangles!”

Tasneem would not listen and refused to eat the toast. Her mother eventually told her, “If you don’t want to eat it, then too bad, because I’m not making you another toast and wasting this one! You are being fussy and difficult!” That’s when Tasneem started her tantrum. She lay on the floor, kicked her arms and legs, and screamed and shouted until she was red in the face, but no matter how much she cried, her mother ignored her. Finally, Tasneem became tired and decided to stop her tantrum.

Later on, Tasneem was in a bad mood because she didn’t eat her breakfast. So, while she was walking past her brother, who was playing on the floor, she made sure that she tramped on his fingers. “OWWWW!” he shouted, “You hurt me!” He went and complained to their father who called Tasneem. When Tasneem came, he told her, “Tasneem! You hurt your brother! Apologize and tell him that you are sorry!” But Tasneem refused to say sorry and just stood there, not saying anything. Her father became upset and said, “Tasneem! Don’t be stubborn! Tell him that you are sorry and you won’t do it again!” But Tasneem was still being stubborn. Finally, her father took her and made her sit in her room as punishment, and that was when her next tantrum started.

Tasneem shouted and screamed, and cried and even kicked the door and banged on the cupboards! However, as much noise as she made and as much as she misbehaved, her father ignored her, until finally, she became tired and stopped the tantrum.

That evening, when Tasneem’s aunt came to visit, she heard about Tasneem’s huge tantrums. She loved Tasneem very much and was very sad to hear about Tasneem’s tantrums. So, after they enjoyed some tasty ice-cream together, she sat with Tasneem and asked her, “Tasneem my dear! Do you know what a tantrum is?” Tasneem immediately said, “Yes! It is when a person shouts and screams and cries because they want something!”

Her aunt asked her next, “So, Tasneem, why do you always tantrum?” Tasneem replied, “Because I want something, or because I don’t want to be punished!” Then her aunt asked her, “Tell me Tasneem, what happens when you tantrum?” Tasneem thought for a few minutes, and then she said, “My mummy and daddy ignore me, and the more I tantrum, the more upset they get, until they punish me.” Her aunt asked her, “Tasneem, now think and tell me, when you tantrum, do you get what you want, or do you get into more trouble?” Tasneem said, “I get into more trouble!”

Then her aunt explained to her, “Tasneem! To have a tantrum is naughty! When you have a tantrum, you trouble your parents, and this makes Allah Ta‘ala unhappy. From now on, if you want something, then instead of having a tantrum and screaming for it, try to be good and make your parents happy.” Tasneem listened carefully and decided that she would give it a try.

The next morning, when Tasneem’s mother walked into the kitchen, she saw that Tasneem had laid the table for breakfast, all on her own, and was patiently waiting for her toast. When she took her toast from her mother, she gave her a big smile and said “Jazaakallah mummy for making the tastiest toast for me!”

After breakfast, Tasneem fetched her father’s work bag, car key and jacket and left them neatly at the front door. As he left for work, he saw Tasneem waiting at the door with a smile on her face. As he took his bag, key and jacket from her, she said, “Assalaamu ‘alaikum daddy! See you later insha-Allah!”

That evening, Tasneem’s mummy and daddy sat and discussed how much she had changed. She did not have a single tantrum the entire day! In fact, she was smiling, happy, pleasant and helpful! Her mother and father were so happy with her that her mother baked her favourite crunchy biscuits for her, and her father bought her the special toy that he knew she wanted.

The next week, when her aunt came to visit, Tasneem told her what had happened. She said to Tasneem, “See? I told you! If you tantrum and cry, all you will get is punishment, and Allah Ta‘ala will be unhappy with you. But if you are helpful and happy, then Allah Ta‘ala and everyone else will be happy with you, and then you won’t get punished – you’ll get spoiled with nice presents!”

Tasneem now saw that what her aunt said was true, and so she promised herself that instead of being Tantrum-Tasneem, she would be Pleasant-Tasneem!

Lessons:

1. It is naughty to have a tantrum, and this behaviour makes Allah Ta‘ala unhappy.

2. A person who has a tantrum gets ignored and punished. If we want something, then we must behave nicely and ask nicely.

3. If we misbehave or have a tantrum, then we must apologize and say that we are sorry. We must try to never do it again.

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