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Dealing with Feelings

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 02 September 2020 15:34

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I am thirteen years old and just started high school. I did not know what it felt like to like a boy as more than a friend until now. The boy feels the same way as I do. We both come from respectable households and have known each other for a long time.

As soon as I reached puberty, I stopped playing with him. It wasn’t hard until I started going to the same school as him which was last year. That’s when I realised that I had feelings for him. I’m trying to ignore these feelings but they won’t go away, and I know that it’s wrong to like somebody in this way.

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The Prescription for Progress

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Last Updated on Monday, 07 September 2020 09:09

Correspondence of  Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (rahimahullah)

Condition:

Please prescribe for me such an action which will assist me to reach the pinnacle of progress.

Answer:

Do not displease Allah Ta‘ala for a single moment. In other words, abstain from every sin. Be especially cautious of safeguarding the eyes and heart. Please Allah Ta‘ala at every moment. In essence, ensure that your external and internal self is in accordance with the sunnah.

(Solutions to Spiritual Maladies for the Lovers of Allah Ta‘ala, pg. 324)

 

Dress for Success

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 01 September 2020 06:08

It is said that a person should ‘dress for success’. In the business world, this saying is interpreted to mean that a person should dress in a manner that inspires people to view them as being ultra-confident and super-successful in their field. For example, if a specialist surgeon dressed in slip-slop sandals, a tattered track pants and a faded sweatshirt, people would be unlikely to afford him the same respect, at the first encounter, as they would have had he been dressed more formally.

The reality of the matter is that a person’s dressing not only has a direct effect on how others perceive him, but it also has a remarkable influence on one’s own mindset, attitude, behaviour and even mental performance (known as clothed cognition) – as confirmed by numerous studies.

In one study, some participants were made to wear a white coat and then take a test that would indicate their power of selective attention. Before taking the test, they were told that the coat was a scientist’s lab coat. A second group took the same test, but did so while dressed in their usual clothing. Interestingly enough, the group that wore the white coat made 50% less errors on the test compared to the group in ordinary clothing. The reason – they associated the white lab coat with intelligence, knowledge and competence, and this actually boosted their performance as they felt more confidence.

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Advising the Children of Relatives

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 25 August 2020 09:26

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

My nephew was playing and I noticed a red string on his hand with something small hanging off it. He was playing and found it, so he put it on his hand. I advised him to take it off as Allah Ta‘ala wouldn’t like us to wear something like that on our hands. I just felt that Hindus wear strings on their hands (especially red ones). Although this was obviously not his intention, I felt that this is something that should be inculcated from early. My sister (his mother) immediately chastised me for saying that to him. She insisted that I’m making him aware of something he didn’t think of, and I was over reacting over such a simple thing, as he was just playing.

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Determining Compatibility with a Prospective Spouse

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 July 2020 16:07

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

Can you please advise me regarding which questions are most important to ask when a boy comes to see a girl? What questions should she ask, and in which way should she assess him?

Jazakallah

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