Oral Sex

Question:

My husband insists on having oral sex. He says that he won’t ejaculate and I won’t be swallowing anything napaak (impure). If I refuse to do so, I fear that he will seek pleasure elsewhere or file for divorce. For him, that is the main form of pleasure. I have heard some fatwas that say it is makrooh and others that say it is haraam. What does a female do in the event that her husband insists on it?

Please advise.

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Lustful Thoughts and Fantasies

Correspondence of  Hazrat Moulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (rahimahullah)

Condition:

I experience many lustful thoughts and sexual fantasies. In most cases it is about those whom I have never seen but have merely heard their name. These thoughts occur mostly about religious people. They come by their own and then overpower me to such an extent that I cannot gauge whether I brought them deliberately or they came to me on their own. When these thoughts come to me, I experience three conditions: (1) the thoughts are in my mind, (2) the nafs enjoys this, (3) this thought confuses my heart as to whether this is a sin or not. These thoughts do not come to me when I am in solitude only, but also when I am with my house-folk, walking about, engaged in house-work, etc. When these fantasies go beyond the limit, the heart becomes restless and starts beating faster. I engage in istighfaar, etc. for some time and then experience some peace. I gauge from this condition that I deliberately brought these thoughts. But this happens rarely. When this happens in normal times, I offer salaah and I feel okay. But when it happens on those days of the month when I am not offering salaah, these thoughts increase and, in fact, go beyond the limit. I am most troubled by the fact that I do not know whether they come to me on their own or whether I bring them deliberately into my mind. I am also troubled by the fact that why do I have these thoughts about someone whom I have not even seen?

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Help me to Stop Chatting with this Guy

Question:

(summarized)

Assalaamualaykum

I am married with children alhamdulillah. A few months into my marriage, because of in-laws interference, my husband started physically abusing me a lot. This would only happen in the room and my in-laws or no-one knew of this. I was scared of telling anyone. This carried on for a few years.

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Why didn’t my Marriage Work?

Question:

(summarised)

Assalaamualikum

Respected Moulana/ Mufti Saab

I tried to do everything right in my marriage. It was an arranged marriage, we didn’t communicate much before the nikaah, and we had a small wedding. I wanted to be a stay at home wife, to take care of my husband, our home, invite his family for suppers and see to our future children. 

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Becoming a Second Wife

Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahimahullah)

Letter: 

Assalamualaikum.

Respected Moulana

Please help, I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I am taking tablets to calm myself but I don’t think it’s working anymore. I had a proposal from a married man who wants me to be his second wife. I keep refusing him because I know my parents will not accept it. He is a family person. He insists that what he asks is not haraam and sometimes I just feel like listening to him. My parents are very sickly and I fear that if I do make nikaah it will affect their health very badly. Now I feel that if I make nikaah I won’t be happy in my marriage because my parents are not happy and maybe Allah will punish me in some way. So many thoughts are running through my mind. It’s so confusing and I am so afraid of having a nervous breakdown, I cannot even sleep at night. Your help and duas will be appreciated.

Jazakallah

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