Becoming Accustomed to Household Responsibilities

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Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I terminated studying at madrasah last year. Alhumdulillah, I’m currently teaching during the afternoons.

My mother has advised me to stay at home during the mornings so that I can attend to the housework and learn to run a home. However, my Aapa wants me to teach during a portion of the morning. Similarly, another madrasah enquired regarding my availability to teach in the mornings. 

I had made the choice that I will help my mother by staying at home in the morning, but now I feel like I am turning down so many opportunities to come out in the path of Allah Ta‘ala to teach. I humbly request you to advise regarding which is more virtuous. 

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

While teaching Deen is a most noble action, the priority in your situation is to become fully acquainted and accustomed to all aspects that relate to home-making skills. Becoming acquainted can happen in a relatively short time, but becoming accustomed is another matter. If someone is accustomed to being occupied for most of the day in other activities and is not accustomed to being engaged in household chores, this can create complications later on. When one has to undertake these responsibilities after marriage, after a short while it becomes burdensome. As a result, she becomes frustrated and this leads to conflict. There have been several cases of this nature.

Therefore, the first priority is to become fully involved in the home, acquire all the necessary skills and also become completely accustomed to undertaking the responsibility of the entire home. Together with this, if there is an opportunity in the afternoon and this does not affect the priority, you may continue teaching in the afternoon.

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama