Brother Involved in Sin

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Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I cannot take my brother’s behaviour any more. He listens to music, sings, dances, watches TV, has a two-length haircut, shaves his beard, misses most of his salaah, smokes and swears. Every time he does any of the above in front of me, I make du‘aa for him. I keep making du‘aa that Allah Ta‘ala send me a pious husband as soon as possible so I can move away from all this disobedience of Allah Ta‘ala.

Alhamdulillah, Allah Ta‘ala guided me at a young age and made all of the above very hated to me, and it hurts me to know that my own brother finds happiness in it. What advice does Moulana have for me?

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

Alhamdulillah, it is a great and special favour of Allah Ta‘ala that He made these sinful actions hated to you. May Allah Ta‘ala grant you istiqaamat (steadfastness) and further progress.

Unfortunately, since your brother is so deep into all these vices, merely reprimanding him or instructing him will generally not change the situation. What is required is a change of heart. If his heart is affected positively, insha-Allah he will himself give up the evils.

Therefore, be patient, continue to make du‘aa for him and try to do the following in a loving manner:

1. Try and establish the daily ta’leem of the Fazaail kitaabs at home. In a gentle manner, encourage him to participate even for five minutes daily. Read mainly from the stories of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum)

2. Try and get him to make some zikr daily. Get him to even just recite “astaghfirullah” 100 times daily. Also encourage him to recite durood shareef.

3. Occasionally play a recording of the zikr and du‘aa of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullahi ‘alaih) while your brother is at home.

4. Send him short audio clips from bayaans that will insha-Allah impact on his heart.

Remember! Hate his sin, but NEVER look down upon him or regard yourself as better than him. Who is better is dependent on the end result. Presently, we do not know our end result or his.

May Allah Ta‘ala change his heart and ways and make us all His obedient and loyal servants, aameen.

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama