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Becoming a Second Wife

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Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahimahullah)

Letter: 

Assalamualaikum.

Respected Moulana

Please help, I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I am taking tablets to calm myself but I don’t think it’s working anymore. I had a proposal from a married man who wants me to be his second wife. I keep refusing him because I know my parents will not accept it. He is a family person. He insists that what he asks is not haraam and sometimes I just feel like listening to him. My parents are very sickly and I fear that if I do make nikaah it will affect their health very badly. Now I feel that if I make nikaah I won’t be happy in my marriage because my parents are not happy and maybe Allah will punish me in some way. So many thoughts are running through my mind. It’s so confusing and I am so afraid of having a nervous breakdown, I cannot even sleep at night. Your help and duas will be appreciated.

Jazakallah

 

Reply:

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

Wa ‘alaikumus Salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Keeping an illicit relationship going even though it may be just chatting with that person is a cause of anxieties, worries and depression. You should ask him only once if he is prepared to allow you to speak to his first wife and inform her of his intention to marry you. If he is not prepared for that, fearing the backlash, then how will you be able to enjoy a peaceful life when she comes to know of the nikaah?

Also your parent’s ill health and unhappiness with regards to this marriage will increase your misery. It was different if you were not taking care of them. Recite “Ya Lateefu” and “Ya Jaami‘u” 111 times with durood shareef three times before and after and ask Allah Ta‘ala to send you a pious, compatible and righteous partner who will be a means of happiness for you and your parents.

Making du‘aa.

Was Salaamu ‘alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Yunus Patel (Maulana)