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This section generally contains selected correspondence which we receive via this website. They are published for general benefit without mentioning any names. Certain questions have been summarised to maintain anonymity. Furthermore keep the following points in mind when reading these questions:

1. Often many people have very similar circumstances. Never speculate about the identity of the person asking.
2. Never look down upon others or regard oneself as better than anyone.
3. Make du’aa for everyone.

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Q&A

Son on Drugs

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Last Updated on Monday, 23 March 2015 15:57

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

I would like your advice.

I have a 33 year old son that’s on drugs. He has been in a few rehabs but just don’t want to come right. He refuses to move out of the house and when we put him out a few times then he comes after a week or 2 and says that his finished with drugs. He is alright for a while then he starts again.

We really don’t know what to do anymore.

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Wicked Sister in Law

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Last Updated on Monday, 02 March 2015 15:31

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum 

I request advice regarding the relationship with my sister in law. 

My sister in law doesn’t speak to me or sms me. She doesn't keep in contact with me at all, until it suits her. I want to have a relationship with her like a sister, but she doesn't bother with me at all. After speaking to her several times and begging her to please keep in contact with me so that we can have a good relationship she said straight, if she wants to she will. 

My in laws support her too and feel she is not wrong in any way. All I’m asking is to be taken part of the family like a sister and to also be in contact with me like how she is with everyone else. She has time for boyfriends, cousins, friends, and whenever it comes to me, she says, “I’m busy.” Also I was sick and she didn't even call or sms to find out about my health yet when she hurt herself, I put my broken heart aside and messaged her. It breaks my heart. 

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Forced to Go to University

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 11 February 2015 15:19

Question: 

Assalamu ‘alaikum.

I made lots of du‘aa so that I do not go to the mixed university in my country. My mum insists that I should go. And today, I have already completed one semester there though I hated that place! I feel suffocated there. But my parents want me to go there.

My question is: Although I made du‘aa, I’m still going there? Did Allah choose/want me to go there? And why would He want me to go to such a place? Is He angry with me?

I have always wanted to become an aalimah. Please enlighten me. I’m feeling so lost.

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Is He Meant for Me?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 22 January 2015 15:32

Question: 

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

I am a divorced girl. After my divorce I met a guy on Facebook. He was going through a separation and I helped him through it. He used to smoke weed and gamble and I told him I can’t marry someone who does such things. We were on and off for 2 years ... but eventually we went our own ways. It’s been 5 years since we’ve been friends ... just friends. 

I realised that I really love him when he moved on but I left it in Allah’s hands and tried to move on. The thing is every time I tried to get married to someone else there’s always an obstacle. Like the one guy that wanted to marry me, he’s family was against it and so we left it. Then one guy I was going to marry and met his parents but that too somehow didn’t work out. And then there was another guy who came and went.

The thing is this guy and his girlfriend broke up and I want to be with him. I sometimes get the feeling that we meant to be but I don’t. I read all my namaaz and it’s not that my faith is weak. I don’t want a relationship ... I want marriage. And I don’t know if this guy and his girlfriend will get back together or not. He gives me mixed signals and I’m very confused. 

Is it possible for me to make istikharah for guidance? I really don’t want to do haraam. I’m just looking to complete half my imaan and do things properly. Like if this guy is not meant for me I don’t want to keep talking to him. I’m in a state right now. Please advise.

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Husband is Cheating

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Last Updated on Monday, 08 December 2014 14:46

Question: 

(summarised)

As salaam

I am married and have 2 wonderful children alhumdulillah. A few months into my marriage I found out that my husband was seeing another woman. He told me he was sorry and it just happened, so I forgave him. But ever since then I have found him cheating but this time his cheating was physical. It came to a stage where I realized he wasn’t happy with me. Since he never wanted to divorce, I gave him permission to take a second wife, which he did not do.

A few months back I found out he has been chatting to a non Muslim woman who he had fallen in love with. He said that when he met her it was like she was what was missing from his life and he misses her and likes her a lot. She stopped all contact when she found out he was married and he was heartbroken over the fact that she was not talking to him. He kept trying to make contact with her, trying to win her back, until she was about to open a case of harassment against him.

So my thing is, had she accepted him he would have left me, but coz she doesn’t want him he is staying with me. It’s like he has no choice or I was the last option. With the other times I could forgive coz it never included feelings. My heart is not in this marriage anymore I really want out of it. I want to live my life for me and my kids. I don't think I can get past this time. I feel like he is just using me for his pleasure coz other than that there is nothing in our marriage 

Maaf for the long question but I’m really hoping you can assist. 

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