Please Note

This section generally contains selected correspondence which we receive via this website. They are published for general benefit without mentioning any names. Certain questions have been summarised to maintain anonymity. Furthermore keep the following points in mind when reading these questions:

1. Often many people have very similar circumstances. Never speculate about the identity of the person asking.
2. Never look down upon others or regard oneself as better than anyone.
3. Make du’aa for everyone.

When sending a question if you feel uncomfortable with it being published, please make mention of it.

Q&A

Is He Meant for Me?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 22 January 2015 15:32

Question: 

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

I am a divorced girl. After my divorce I met a guy on Facebook. He was going through a separation and I helped him through it. He used to smoke weed and gamble and I told him I can’t marry someone who does such things. We were on and off for 2 years ... but eventually we went our own ways. It’s been 5 years since we’ve been friends ... just friends. 

I realised that I really love him when he moved on but I left it in Allah’s hands and tried to move on. The thing is every time I tried to get married to someone else there’s always an obstacle. Like the one guy that wanted to marry me, he’s family was against it and so we left it. Then one guy I was going to marry and met his parents but that too somehow didn’t work out. And then there was another guy who came and went.

The thing is this guy and his girlfriend broke up and I want to be with him. I sometimes get the feeling that we meant to be but I don’t. I read all my namaaz and it’s not that my faith is weak. I don’t want a relationship ... I want marriage. And I don’t know if this guy and his girlfriend will get back together or not. He gives me mixed signals and I’m very confused. 

Is it possible for me to make istikharah for guidance? I really don’t want to do haraam. I’m just looking to complete half my imaan and do things properly. Like if this guy is not meant for me I don’t want to keep talking to him. I’m in a state right now. Please advise.

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Husband is Cheating

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Last Updated on Monday, 08 December 2014 14:46

Question: 

(summarised)

As salaam

I am married and have 2 wonderful children alhumdulillah. A few months into my marriage I found out that my husband was seeing another woman. He told me he was sorry and it just happened, so I forgave him. But ever since then I have found him cheating but this time his cheating was physical. It came to a stage where I realized he wasn’t happy with me. Since he never wanted to divorce, I gave him permission to take a second wife, which he did not do.

A few months back I found out he has been chatting to a non Muslim woman who he had fallen in love with. He said that when he met her it was like she was what was missing from his life and he misses her and likes her a lot. She stopped all contact when she found out he was married and he was heartbroken over the fact that she was not talking to him. He kept trying to make contact with her, trying to win her back, until she was about to open a case of harassment against him.

So my thing is, had she accepted him he would have left me, but coz she doesn’t want him he is staying with me. It’s like he has no choice or I was the last option. With the other times I could forgive coz it never included feelings. My heart is not in this marriage anymore I really want out of it. I want to live my life for me and my kids. I don't think I can get past this time. I feel like he is just using me for his pleasure coz other than that there is nothing in our marriage 

Maaf for the long question but I’m really hoping you can assist. 

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Is Purdah Compulsory?

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 18 November 2014 15:35

Question: 

Salaam

Kindly explain to me if the purdah is compulsory on a woman, as I get different views from people and how is it different from only wearing the abaya and headscarf?

Answer:

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Respected Sister

Apart from covering the rest of the body, it is necessary for a woman to conceal her face from strange (non-mahram) men.

The details in this regard are many. However, to understand the matter briefly, consider the following two verses of the Quraan Majeed. 

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Should I Attend?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 30 October 2014 14:47

Question: 

Assalaamu alaikum

Respected Panel of Ulema

I recently purchased a ticket to a program in Durban. This program is hosted by the … Institute. A broadcast has been going around to refrain from attending this program as it is by Salafies and they will destroy our imaan. I don’t know if this is true as most of these broadcasts are baseless although one can never be too sure.

If Moulana can advise whether I should attend or not, or if there is any truth in it?

Jazakallah 

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Hanafi or Muslim?

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 01 October 2014 16:29

Question: 

A friend at campus often asks fellow students: “Are you a Muslim or a Hanafi/Shaafi‘ee?” How does one respond to such a question? Please advise.

Answer:

The word “or” (in the context of the question) is used between two words of the same species. It is correct to ask someone whether he will eat “rice or bread” since both are food items, but you cannot enquire whether he will eat “bread or paper”. Likewise, if your friend asks someone whether he lives in Durban or South Africa, the question will be absurd. Only one who is ignorant of the fact that Durban is not a country, but a city in South Africa, can ask such a question.

Your friend’s question implies that one can either be a Muslim or a Hanafi. Thus if someone says he is a Hanafi then, Allah forbid, he is not a Muslim!! It is the same as asking whether you live in Durban or South Africa, and that if you live in Durban, then you are not a South African???

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