Home Women's Issues Q&A Kissing one's male cousins

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Kissing one's male cousins



May I please have advice (sin, punishment etc) that I can pass on to those females that kiss their male cousins upon greeting and advice to the male cousins that allow their cousins to kiss them. May I also have advice that I may pass on to females that kiss their brother in laws. May Allah reward you in abundance in both worlds, Ameen.



Bismihi Ta`ala
Haamidan wa Musalliyan
Respected Sister in Islam

The Deen of Islam is a complete and comprehensive way of living. It provides guidance and guidelines in every sphere of human life. Every commandment and prohibition possesses immense blessing and abundant benefits. Shariah commands us to observe strict purdah with all those who we are allowed to marry (i.e. ghair-mahrams) in Islam.

Hereunder are few verses of the Qur’aan and Ahaadith of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) which explains as well as emphasizes the need of observing purdah.

Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’aan:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُل لِّأَزْوَاجِكَ وَبَنَاتِكَ وَنِسَاءِ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ يُدْنِينَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِن جَلَابِيبِهِنَّ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَن يُعْرَفْنَ فَلَا يُؤْذَيْنَ وَكَانَ اللَّـهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا ﴿٥٩﴾ (سورة الأحزاب 59)

“O Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), command your wives, daughters and the believing women to don the niqaab (veil)”.

In another verse, Allah Ta’ala while commanding the wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) to adopt purdah and don the veil says:

ذَلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ (سورة الأحزاب 53)

“That (observing purdah) is better for the purity of your hearts and their hearts (i.e. the hearts of men)”.

Once Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) questioned the Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum) as to what was the most beneficial thing for women (i.e. the thing most beloved in the sight of Allah Ta’ala and most safeguarding for their deen). None of the Sahaabah (radiyallahu anhum) had given any answer to Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in that gathering. When Ali (radiyallahu anhu) returned home and informed Faatima (radiyallahu anha) regarding the question Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) posed to the Sahaabah. She spontaneously answered, “The thing most beneficial for women and most beloved in the sight of Allah Ta’ala (in safeguarding their deen) is that they do not have any contact with men (looking, meeting etc.) and that men do not have any contact with them.” When Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was informed of the response of Faatima (radiyallahu anha), Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Fatima is part of me.” (Kanzul Ummaal #46012).

Ummu Salamah (radiyallahu anha) reported, “Once Maymoonah (radiyallahu anha) and I were seated with Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), it was just then that Abdullah bin Ummi Maktoom (the blind Sahaabi) entered the presence of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam). Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) immediately commanded Maymoonah (radiyallahu anha) and I to observe purdah from the blind Sahaabi. I said, “O Nabi of Allah Isn’t he blind and unable to see us (i.e. what is the need for us to observe purdah from him)?” Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) retorted, “Are you two also blind?” (i.e. you are able to see him hence you need to observe purdah from him). (Abu Dawood 2/568).

Despite the men and women of the Sahaabah being so pure compared to the men and women of these times, yet they were commanded to observe purdah. Hence viewing the overwhelming fitnahs of these times, how much more do we need to observe purdah in our lives?

Hereunder are a few Ahaadith that explain the grave warnings and severe punishment for those who disregard and violate this injunction of Deen.

Ma’qil bin Yasaar (radiyallahu anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “It is better for a person that a needle be pierced into his head than touching a woman who it is not permissible for him to touch”. (Al-Mu`jamul Kabeer #17242).

Abu Umaamah (radiyallahu anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Abstain from being in seclusion with women. By the qasam of that being in whose control lies my life, no man secludes himself with a strange women but shaitaan joins them. And it is better for a person to touch a swine which is messed in mud than to allow his shoulder to touch the shoulder of a strange woman (in a crowd). (Al-Mu`jamul Kabeer #7846).

`Uqbah (radiyallahu anhu) reports that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Guard yourselves from entering upon women (who are unlawful for you)”. An Ansaari Sahaabi (radiyallahu anhu) enquired, “O Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)! What about the brother in law?” Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) replied, “The brother in law is (like) death (i.e. much more precaution should be exercised)”. (Tirmizi 1/220).

From the above we understand the gravity of the sin of freely intermingling with ghair mahrams and not observing purdah. True success and happiness lies in total submission and obedience to the laws of Allah and His Rasul (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).

Allah Taala knows best


(Mufti) Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

(Mufti) Ebrahim Salejee