Home Women's Issues Q&A Depressed Due to a Haraam Relationship

Please Note

This section generally contains selected correspondence which we receive via this website. They are published for general benefit without mentioning any names. Certain questions have been summarised to maintain anonymity. Furthermore keep the following points in mind when reading these questions:

1. Often many people have very similar circumstances. Never speculate about the identity of the person asking.
2. Never look down upon others or regard oneself as better than anyone.
3. Make du’aa for everyone.

When sending a question if you feel uncomfortable with it being published, please make mention of it.

Depressed Due to a Haraam Relationship

PDFPrintE-mail

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I’m a twenty-five year old Muslim girl. Eight years ago, I fell in love with a decent Muslim boy. I know that this was totally haraam, but I guess I was young (which I know is not an excuse).

We were together for six years, and two years ago, he hurt me by lying to me. I was heartbroken and immediately broke up with him. Since then, we do speak now and then, but it did not bother me or hurt me so much all along.

Even after all these years, I do kind of love him, but have left it all in Allah’s hands, as He knows what is in our taqdeer. Recently, I’ve been feeling so depressed that at times, I feel like breaking down when I hear from him.

Please suggest some du‘aa to me that I can read as I feel so miserable.

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

Your talking to him “now and then” is a clear indication that you have not yet entirely severed this illicit relationship. Any illicit relationship is impermissible. You should immediately make sincere taubah and never be in contact with him again. Delete all his contact details and totally bar him from contacting you.

Besides the sin, you are also deliberately hurting yourself. The longer you delay in totally terminating this impermissible relationship, the longer you will remain on this emotional roller coaster. Therefore, forget about him. If he comes to mind, immediately imagine that he has died and his body is in a state of advanced decomposition in the grave.

In any case, if he is genuinely interested in marrying you, he should get his parents to directly contact your parents and discuss the matter.

May Allah Ta‘ala grant you the strength and courage to stay away from His displeasure, and bless you with a spouse that will be good for your Deen and dunya, aameen.

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama