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Blaming Allah for Our Faults

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Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

A certain person asked me the following question, “Why does Allah cause marriages to end in divorce if divorce is the most detested by Him?” How should I respond to this question?

Jazakallah

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

Indeed talaaq (divorce) has been described in the hadeeth as the most detestable of all the permissible things to Allah Ta‘ala. While talaaq is detestable, it is still nevertheless something which sharee‘ah has recognized and which may be resorted to when every other avenue has failed to reconcile between the couple and save the marriage.

Just as talaaq is detested, there are other aspects which are more detested by Allah Ta‘ala since they are completely impermissible. For instance, lying, backbiting, committing zina of the eyes or any other form of zina, neglecting salaah, disobeying one’s parents in permissible matters, etc. are even more detested than talaaq. Yet all these things also happen. One would then question why people indulge in these vices when they are so detested by Allah Ta‘ala.

The Quraan and sunnah have clearly explained what is permissible and what is forbidden. The obligations of Deen as well as those things which are completely destructive have all been spelt out. Every human being has a choice which he then exercises. Exercising the correct choice is actually the test of life. Some people exercise the choice properly. Hence, they perform all their five daily salaah, fulfil all the obligations of Deen, refrain from all sins, do not trample the rights of people, etc. Others use their choice incorrectly and do the opposite of what was mentioned.

The same applies in a marriage. Some make the correct choices of actions and conduct and fulfil their responsibilities. Hence their marriages flourish. However, if any one or both of the spouses do not choose correctly and conduct themselves in a manner that is against the teachings of the Quraan and sunnah, then they will harm their marriage or even destroy it. This is similar to a person who chooses to light a fire on the carpet of his home. He will end up burning it down. This detestable action which burnt down the entire house was his choice. He chose foolishly. The end result was disaster.

Those who choose correctly in all the aspects of life will be rewarded by Allah Ta‘ala, both in this world and the Hereafter. As for those who choose incorrectly and adopt the means of destruction, then they unfortunately suffer the consequences in this world and will also be accountable for it in the Hereafter.

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama