(Mother of Moulana Sayyid Abul Hasan ‘Ali Nadwi [rahimahumallah] – Part Five)

When Khairun Nisaa (rahimahallah) came of marriageable age, the family of her paternal uncle were making every effort to secure her proposal to her cousin. Two of her sisters were already married into their household and their home was one of affluence and prosperity. Thus, from the perspective of financial security, there was no better home than her paternal uncle’s home, and living under his roof would guarantee that she enjoyed a grand and comfortable lifestyle.

Due to these reasons, both Khairun Nisaa (rahimahallah) and her mother were inclined to accepting this proposal. Her father, however, wanted her husband to be a pious and Allah-fearing person, and this quality of piety was not found in his brother’s home to a level that satisfied him. In other words, they had abundant wealth and many properties, but there was no real spirit and environment of Deen in their home.

Therefore, when she received a proposal from Moulana Sayyid Hakeem ‘Abdul Hayy (rahimahullah), then although he had been married previously (his wife had passed away), her father was excited and felt as if the proposal he had desired all along had finally arrived.

Since the proposal came from a household that was not concerned about wealth, and furthermore, they were undergoing a period of difficulty and constraint, her mother was very worried and reluctant to accept the proposal. Her father, however, was determined and said, “Sayyid is young, pious, an ‘Aalim and intelligent. I cannot give preference to anyone else over him. Wealth and poverty have no importance in my eyes. The factor by which we must decide is piety and the knowledge of Deen.”

During this period of deliberation and uncertainty, Khairun Nisaa (rahimahallah) saw multiple dreams which indicated that her marriage to him would be a means of Allah Ta‘ala blessing her with special favours and bounties. Hence, accepting the advice of her father, she accepted the proposal and her nikaah was performed to Moulana Sayyid Hakeem ‘Abdul Hayy (rahimahullah).


1. When either we or our children approach marriageable age, it is only natural that we begin to look for a prospective partner. However, when looking for a partner, what are the criteria based on which we assess, judge and compare proposals? Many of us largely base our decision on the financial strength of the person as we have concern for our material security and comfort. While this is not impermissible, it should not be the main basis for our decision, as Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) encouraged us to base our decision on the person’s commitment to Deen. While there is no guarantee that securing wealth will ensure comfort in this world, securing Deen will definitely secure comfort in this world and the Hereafter. How many women, married to wealthy men, face unhappy marriages and although seem to ‘have it all’, are secretly miserable? If the decision is made on the basis of taqwa (the consciousness of Allah Ta‘ala), the husband will never ill-treat his wife as he has the fear of Allah Ta‘ala.

2. In the modern world of today, many young people find and choose their spouse on their own. Often, when they mention their choice to their parents, then their parents, in their wisdom, foresight and experience, disapprove as they can clearly see that there is a lack of compatibility. At this point, the child, blinded by ‘love’, feels that his parents are trying to ‘spite’ him, instead of realizing that they know better and wish the best for him. Finding a spouse independently generally involves pre-marital relationships, resulting in the relationship commencing with the displeasure of Allah Ta‘ala. On the other hand, pleasing one’s parents is an action that will draw barakah (blessings) and the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. Thus Khairun Nisaa (rahimahallah) pleased her father and accepted to marry Moulana ‘Abdul Hayy (rahimahullah).