(Respected Wife of Dr. Hafeezullah Madani [rahimahullah] – Part Two)
Her son, Dr. Kareemullah Makki, mentioned the following:
‘A child’s first classroom is the mother’s lap’ is a well known adage. Alhamdulillah, we were blessed to be raised in the ‘classroom’ of my mother, who was extremely pious and blessed in all aspects of Deen. She strove to instil within us (her children) piety and the values and mindset of Islam, and was thus very particular regarding our behaviour and actions. In fact, she would continuously monitor every action of ours and correct us where necessary.
From childhood, she would make us perform salaah under her watchful eye. If we ever misbehaved, she would immediately reprimand us, and if she felt the need, she would even report us to our father. She never once interfered or interceded when our father disciplined us. Rather, she lent him her complete support. On our father’s instruction, she would give him a detailed report regarding the times at which we entered and left the home.
We would often travel home by train and would sometimes happen to sit in a compartment in which another passenger was smoking. As soon as we arrived home and she perceived the smell of the smoke on our clothing, she would interrogate us saying, “Speak the truth! Have you been smoking?” When we would reply in the negative, she would ask us why our clothing smelt of cigarette smoke, after which we would explain the reason to her. This is merely an example to illustrate the concern for her children which burned within her at all times, and the fear she had for them falling into bad habits.
She always emphasized the importance of good company to us and encouraged us to establish a relationship and maintain contact with the pious. The blessings of this was that three of my brothers had received khilaafat (the authority to accept disciples) from senior shaikhs in the spiritual field.
On one occasion, after my mother was bedridden, one of my brothers missed a salaah with jamaat in the musjid. My mother was extremely upset and reprimanded him severely. As a punishment, she said to him, “Until you have not performed all your salaah with jamaat for one week, do not speak to me!”
As strict as my mother may have been, she was very compassionate and loving to her children. After we had left home to study, work, etc., she would urge us, “Return as quickly as you can! Your arrival soothes my heart!” She would hug us and say, “This brings me comfort.” She would also say, “You will understand and appreciate how I feel when you have children of your own.” My mother was thus very compassionate and loving. However, if any law of Deen was broken then she would become upset and would scold and rebuke us.
(Mithaali Khawaateen pg. 332-336)
Lessons:
1. A mother who has true concern and love for her children will want the very best for them in both this world and the next. Just as she will want her sons to receive the very best education, so that their financial futures will be secured, and her daughters to be married into good homes for the same reason, she should be even more concerned to secure their Deeni future and their Jannah! For this purpose, she will continuously monitor them, guide them and discipline them.
2. It is essential for the mother and the father to work together in raising and disciplining the children. If this is not done, one parent may wish to discipline the child while the other may spoil the child. As a result, the child will learn to manipulate the parents and ‘play’ one parent against the other.
3. Even after a child has become an adult and has left the home, his parents should still be concerned for his/her Deen. A child is never too old for correction or to be questioned regarding his/her habits, salaah, etc.
4. Parents should always express their love and affection for their children. If this is not done and the parent attempts to discipline the children, the children will feel that their parents hate them and are their enemies.