Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
What is the correct method to overcome bottling up one’s feelings?
Jazakallah
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister in Islam
“Bottling” one’s feelings is obviously going to become an issue at some stage. When the pressure in the “bottle” becomes too intense, it is likely to “explode”. Therefore, do not continuously bottle up your feelings.
If the issue is such that you can address it in a nice way with whoever it concerns, then do so after carefully considering how best to present the matter.
However, if expressing your feelings will only further complicate matters due to the person being difficult to deal with, nor is it really affecting anything in your life, then make sabr, consciously forgive and get past it. Remind yourself that by forgiving, you have received unimaginable rewards in the Aakhirah. By doing this, you would not have “bottled” up the feelings. Rather, you have “transformed” it into tremendous reward and “transferred” it to the Aakhirah.
Nevertheless, this advice is on a general note. If the matter is much more complicated, you should consult an experienced ‘Aalim about your particular issue and act accordingly.
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama