Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
My husband wishes to buy a clothing set for our two-year-old daughter which contains a pair of jeans so that she can match him and wear it outside. I am against it as I dislike girls wearing jeans.
We have had arguments as he wants little more modern things, like colourful abayas with stones or work, celebrating birthdays, etc. and I absolutely refuse, causing me great tension and worry as he is my husband and I should not be quarrelling with him. Alhamdulillah, he wishes to please Allah Ta‘ala and therefore agrees with my way of thinking and goes along with my decision.
Please make du‘aa for me and my husband.
Jazakallah
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
1. Our most beautiful Deen teaches us that long before a child grows up and becomes accountable and responsible for his actions, he should be taught and trained in the correct path. The minimum age of puberty for a boy is 12 years. Yet we have been commanded to teach him salaah from the age of 7 and punish him for missing it once he reaches 10. Thus, training commences long in advance.
2. As for general habits, mannerisms, etiquette, etc., this starts from the very early ages. The same applies to dressing. While a child is not obligated to cover up to the same extent as a grown-up girl, dressing her up in Western style garments and fashion items will have a deep impact on her akhlaaq and general conduct. Jeans is an icon of Western fashion.
3. Many mothers from the present elder generation never wore jeans, tight fitting garments, etc. However, due to the influence of the environment, they dressed their little daughters in such garments. They felt their little child looked “cute” dressed up in the style of the disbelievers. Those same little girls who are now young adults and many are mothers, still find it “cute” to dress up in the same immodest styles of the disbelievers. Therefore, do not ever dress your child in such styles.
4. Do not argue with your husband. Explain in a nice way. If a discussion will lead to an argument, leave it at that time and communicate the point in a positive manner by means of a respectfully and affectionately worded message.
May Allah Ta‘ala assist you.
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama