Question:
Assalamu alaikum
I am a Muslim girl brought up in a well religious Muslim family. But I have committed sin. I am in love with a guy who doesn’t care about me at all. Throughout the whole time that I’ve known him he has only hurt me by having affairs with other girls. I have known him for a few years in which we had lost contact and recently started to talk again since last year. I have had relations with him a few times and I got pregnant. When I told him he said he wants nothing to do with me or the baby and he left me. I cried and begged him to support me because I was scared but he didn’t care at all. I wanted to keep the baby but then I had to think about my family also as I am only young. He didn’t want to support me with the abortion so I told him I am keeping the baby and that he will have nothing to do with it once it is born.
As weeks went by I became more and more attached to what was growing inside me. I would have dreams of me having a baby girl. I would stay up all night researching on Islamic views and baby developments etc. He eventually calmed down and promised me he will stop treating me so bad and that we can move on with a fresh start and everything will be fine and he will come see me if I have the abortion done by myself. I was stupid enough to get convinced and get the abortion done by myself at 8 weeks and a few days. He did not once call me to ask me how I am throughout the pregnancy and the abortion, and when he did call me he laughed about it. When the abortion was done I asked him to come see me like he promised. He told me he lied about everything so I would get the abortion done, and that me and him are over. I was heartbroken and devastated. I lost my baby because of his lies. I am a good person who never wishes ill on anybody not even my enemies, I have always been so nice to him, but why am I being punished? I know I have committed a huge sin which I will never be forgiven for. I curse myself everyday for what I have done. I regret everything I have done but this has affected me hugely and I don’t know how I am ever going to be able to move on from this experience.
Answer:
Bismihi Ta`ala
Haamidan wa Musalliyan
Respected Sister in Islam
Wa Alaikum Salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh
Beg Allah Ta’ala’s forgiveness for whatever has happened and don’t stumble in this type of error again. These types of relationships with strange men must end up in this unpleasant manner as you have witnessed. If you cannot be loyal to Allah Ta’ala, how do you expect people to be loyal to you. The reward of being unfaithful to Allah Ta’ala is that people will be unfaithful to you. Ask Allah Ta’ala’s forgiveness for what has transpired. In future don’t get into a relationship with any person until nikaah has been done. There is no need to curse yourself. If a person sincerely repents and regrets then Allah Ta’ala opens the doors for him/her. Hence, put your hopes in Allah Ta’ala and He will work out a solution for you.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best