Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
I am a Muslim girl brought up in a practising Muslim family, but I have committed a sin. I am in love with a man who does not care about me. Throughout the time I have known him, he has only caused me hurt and has had affairs with other women.
We lost contact for a few years and recently began talking again last year. During this period, I became involved with him physically and became pregnant. When I informed him, he refused to take responsibility and left me. I begged him to support me because I was scared, but he did not care. I wanted to keep the baby, but I also had to consider my young age and my family’s situation.
He refused to help me with the abortion, so I initially told him that I would keep the baby and that he would have no involvement once it was born. As the weeks passed, I became emotionally attached to my unborn child and often dreamed of having a baby girl. I stayed up at night researching Islamic rulings and fetal development.
Eventually, he promised that he would change his behaviour and that we could start afresh, provided I went through with the abortion. I was convinced and had an abortion at eight weeks. He never once inquired about my wellbeing during the pregnancy or abortion. When he finally did contact me, he laughed about it and revealed that he had lied to convince me to have the abortion, declaring that our relationship was over.
I am heartbroken and devastated. I lost my baby because of his lies. I have always tried to be kind and never wished ill on anyone, yet I feel I am being punished. I know I have committed a serious sin and curse myself every day. I regret what I have done, but this experience has affected me deeply, and I do not know how I will ever move on.
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
Beg Allah Ta‘ala’s forgiveness sincerely for what has transpired, and resolve never to fall into such a situation again. Relationships of this nature with non-mahram men often lead to heartbreak and harm, as you have experienced. If one is not loyal to Allah Ta‘ala, one cannot expect others to be loyal to them.
The appropriate course now is to sincerely repent to Allah Ta‘ala. Do not curse yourself; instead, place your hope in His mercy. Allah Ta‘ala forgives all sins for those who turn to Him in sincere repentance and regret.
Going forward, do not enter into any intimate or romantic relationship until nikaah has been performed. Put your trust in Allah Ta‘ala, and He will guide you and open doors for goodness in your life.
And Allah Ta‘ala knows best
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama