Question:
Assalamualaikum warahmathullali wabarakathu
I am sending you this email in collaboration with my friend. We are both single Muslim girls and we are facing a difficult situation and we do not know what to do about it.
The two of us were and are (to an extent) practicing Muslims, Alhamdulillah. We observe the Islamic dress code and come from families where religion is a priority. We have knowledge on deen but I doubt we have the understanding as we have much to be guilty about.
I am 23, my friend is 19. We started working together on a project in November. The project lasted until January. It was a group project. During this period, we were mere acquaintances but we won’t deny that we had plenty of respect and admiration for one another. After the project met its deadline, we somehow happened to become very close. We shared our most personal secrets and became the best of friends. After sometime, we both realized that this was not a mere ‘friendship’ as we simply could not stop thinking about each other. We would look for reasons to be with each other at all times. 3 weeks ago, we confessed that we felt the same way. And that led to us becoming physically involved. There was and has been no display of our awrah but we know very well that even the extent that we have come to is not acceptable in our religion.
Brother, we know that this is wrong but we feel all of this so intensely. It ‘feels’ real (We have never felt this way about anyone else before). We want to put an end to this. We want to figure out the ‘root’ of this so that we can correct the situation at the base instead of merely suppressing all what we feel.
One thing we do know for sure is that our Imaan most certainly cannot be considered strong. We truly fear for our Aakhira brother… We do not want to live our lives under the wrath of Allah.
We do hope you will be able to guide us on this. And help us overcome this.
Please do make dua for us brother. We are in dire need of it.
Jazakallah Khair
Answer:
Bismihi Ta’ala
Respected Sister in Islam
Walaikumus Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu
Alhamdulillah, you have understood that this type of an association is wrong and that it comes directly under the wrath, anger and curse of Allah Ta’ala. The Arabic word la’nat means that one is thrown out of the mercy of Allah Ta’ala. This type of association culminates in la’nat.
The best recourse for both of you is to permanently separate for the sake of Allah Ta’ala. Don’t even talk to each another. This will earn you a very great reward and the difficulty you go through will become a means of enjoying the sweetness of Imaan. Ponder over the consequences of la’nat and you will understand that you definitely need to separate, and the separation has to be immediate. There is no problem if this separation is done abruptly. Allah Ta’ala will reward you for the pain, difficulty and the emotional grief that you will undergo. Remember, your allegiance is primarily with Allah Ta’ala. People are by the way; someone comes and someone goes, but you cannot sever your relationship with Allah Ta’ala, nor can you ever break away from Him. For His sake every type of association can be broken. If the association is broken only for His sake then you can well imagine how Allah Ta’ala will recompense you.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best