I am married with children alhamdulillah. A few months into my marriage, because of in-laws interference, my husband started physically abusing me a lot. This would only happen in the room and my in-laws or no-one knew of this. I was scared of telling anyone. This carried on for a few years.

In that time I committed a major mistake. I went on to the internet and befriended a guy. We became very close and we chat till today. He told me to get help for the abuse from my family. I was still very hesitant but he persuaded me. I did but this didn’t go well with my in-laws. My husband knows nothing of this guy.

Please advice and help me stop chatting with him. I’ve tried many times but start again.

Request for Duas.



Bismihi Ta‘ala

Respected Sister

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

While your husband abusing you was a terrible and cruel act, it does not justify your engaging in this haraam in any way whatsoever. However, masha-Allah, your regret and remorse over the mistake you committed is praiseworthy.

You must sincerely make taubah and beg Allah Ta‘ala to forgive you. Perform at least two rakaats salaatut taubah and then cry unto Allah Ta‘ala. Also firmly and sincerely resolve never to commit this sin again.

Furthermore you must do the following immediately:

1. Send one last message to him. Keep it very short and very stern. Do not write any greeting before or after. Simply state something like: “I am disgusted with the haraam I was committing. I have made taubah. Do not ever try to contact me again. I love my husband and I hate what you did by engaging me in sin.”

2. As soon as you have sent the message above, delete all his contact details from wherever it is stored. Do not leave any trace of it. Also completely block his number so that he can never contact you again. You should in fact immediately change your number and throw away the old number.

3. If ever the thoughts of this person come to mind, immediately imagine that he has just dropped dead. The next second his body became completely blown up and disfigured. Then imagine that it has burst and all the muck is all over the place. There is a terrible stench emanating from all the muck and you are repeatedly vomiting as a result of the terrible stench.

4. Daily perform your five salaah, recite some portion of the Quraan Majeed, recite istighfaar (astaghfirullah) 100 times and durood shareef (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) 100 times. After every salaah recite “la hawla wala quwwata illa billah” 7 times and make du‘aa.

5. Daily spend at least 3 minutes thinking about your own death and all the aspects that would happen at that time. Also reflect on what preparation you have made for the life after death.

6. Daily read the book “Fazaail-e-Aamaal” by Moulana Muhammad Zakariyya (rahimahullah) for at least 10 minutes.

May Allah Ta‘ala enable you to live your life in His complete obedience and pleasure, and make your husband the best husband for you.

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama