Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahimahullah)
Assalaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
I have someone very special in my life and he is everything that I have asked Allah Ta‘ala for. I have read istikhaarah and it was positive. He has also read but hasn’t got an answer. However, he feels very positive. The thing is his parents do not want to accept me. I do not want him to choose his parents over me.
Since we are happy with one another, how do we work around this situation? He does not want to go against his parents’ wishes and I respect that, but I am left at the end of a bridge with nowhere to go.
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Sister in Islam
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
1. Before all else, you need to understand that your relationship with this boy presently, is haraam. You are making du‘aa to make something halaal, but you are still remaining in haraam. Your du‘aa is in one direction, but your actions are in the opposite direction. Indulgence in sins is a great obstruction for acceptance of du‘aas.
You should firstly break off the illicit relationship you have with the person. In doing so, Allah Ta‘ala will become pleased and when Allah Ta‘ala is pleased, He will assist and guide you to what is best for you; He will accept your du‘aas and make things work out most favourably for you.
2. On the one hand, this person is leading you on in an illicit relationship and on the other hand, he tells you that his parents are not happy and they do not want to accept you and he wants to please them. This is all the more reason to break off the relationship. Look at the situation realistically and rationally.
3. If and when he is sure that he does want to marry you, he should officially and formally propose by adopting the correct procedure; he should get a senior member of his family to speak to his parents, explaining the situation to them, and encourage them to accept the proposal for you, and they should thereafter present the proposal to your parents.
However, to continue in the haraam relationship is only opening the doors of many problems and a lot of misery.
May Allah Ta‘ala guide us all and grant us the correct understanding.
Was salaamu ‘alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Yunus Patel (Moulana)