Question:

My husband committed adultery in a hotel room with someone he only knew for a week. I came to find out by chance. I have spoken to the woman and she says she knew he was rich and wanted to get money out of him, therefore she trapped him into this. My husband has now repented and performs his salaah, etc. The problem is I can’t let it go. I just want to keep knowing more and more about what happened in that room. I can’t accept it as we had such a perfect marriage. He also agrees that it had nothing to do with me or our marriage. He just went astray. I can’t make sabr and everyday I keep thinking and start a new fight.

What can I do?

Please advise.

Jazakallah

Answer:

Bismihi Ta’ala

Respected Sister

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu

Indeed your husband’s action was most despicable. Your feelings of shock and disappointment are natural. It is even more tragic that despite a happy marriage he stooped to committing such a vile deed. While there are many aspects that lead to this terrible sin being committed, it is often incited by incorrect literature, surfing haraam sites on internet and misuse of the phones by indulging in haraam chats through social media platforms.

Most unfortunately, the clock cannot be turned back. What has happened is indeed extremely painful and tragic but it has already happened. The issue is how to move forward from here.

Firstly, your husband should make sincere taubah and beg Allah Ta’ala for forgiveness. He must avoid all bad company, media, television, internet, etc. It is also imperative that he keep the company of the pious.

Secondly, if your husband has repented sincerely, Insha-Allah he has been forgiven by Allah Ta’ala. Now, for your own peace and sanity and for your own welfare, while keeping in mind that since he has sincerely repented and has Insha-Allah been forgiven by Allah Ta’ala, you also forgive him for the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. It takes courage to forgive. It requires sabr. The gulp of sabr is sometimes very bitter but the result of it is very sweet in this world and even sweeter in the Hereafter. There is no point in finding out what happened there.  In fact it is necessary for your husband to totally forget what happened there. He should never talk about it to anyone since to disclose a sin is also a sin. When Allah Ta’ala forgives a person, He erases the sin from the person’s book of deeds. Do the same and try to erase it from your life. You will find peace. Otherwise, you will be hurting yourself more than your husband. Shaitaan first mislead your husband and is now trying his utmost to use the incident to destroy your marriage and happiness. Do not let him succeed. May Allah Ta’ala grant you courage and patience.

May Allah Ta’ala grant your husband complete hidayat, give you complete peace and protect your marriage and grant you the best of both worlds.

Wassalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu