Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
I have a problem and need some help.
My husband has nieces just about my age and little smaller. He has a habit of hugging them when they meet and this hurts me.
I have tried to explain my feelings to my husband but he doesn’t seem to give it a thought. To him it’s permitted so there is no problem. It is a weakness on my side. I want to speak and let his nieces know that this hurts me though it’s permitted. It’s a daily struggle when it comes to mind and especially when we come in contact with them.
What to do?
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh
Respected Sister
It is not appropriate at all for him to hug his grown up nieces.
If your husband is not understanding the issue, it may not help in any way to talk to his nieces. He will most likely come to know that you have spoken to them and he will most probably insist on hugging them to prove his point.
Try to get him to, “for the sake of greater clarity,” himself ask the question from a senior experienced mufti. Perhaps on his behalf, and with his consent you could send the question. Merely ask whether it is fine for a man to hug his baaligh nieces. Perhaps this will make him review his stance.
May Allah Ta‘ala grant your husband the correct understanding and bless you’ll with happiness.
And Allah Ta‘ala knows best
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama