Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
A boy whom I have known since my school days has come to our home with a proposal, as we are both very fond of one another. However, my family has strongly opposed any form of interaction, stating that unless we perform nikaah, we are not permitted to meet or communicate in any way. We understand and accept that this is zina and against Islam and the Sunnah.
Our concern is that if the matter is not handled correctly, it may lead us to secretly meeting or communicating behind their backs, which we know would be wrong. We do intend to perform nikaah, but only in about two years’ time, as we hope to be more stable and prepared by then.
In the meantime, we would like to meet only when he comes home, in the presence of my family, and at family gatherings or functions. However, my family is completely preventing any contact, which is causing emotional strain and making me fear that I may be tempted into making choices that are neither Islamic nor correct.
My family has played a major role in my life and has always supported me. I respect and love them, and I know they want what is best for me and for him, according to the Quraan and Sunnah. However, they now feel that they should make all decisions on my behalf.
Please advise us on the correct Islamic approach in this situation.
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
Any form of contact between prospective spouses before the nikaah takes place is impermissible. Such interaction also removes the barakah of the nikaah and deprives the marriage of many blessings.
You should either try to convince your parents to arrange the nikaah sooner, or you should exercise sabr. Your patience will be greatly rewarded. One of the immediate rewards will be the pleasure of Allah Ta‘ala. Insha Allah, your marriage will also be a happy one, as you refrained from haraam before the nikaah.
May Allah Ta‘ala assist you.
Was Salaam