Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
I am addicted to masturbation from a very young age, but I only learned that it’s prohibited in Islam and is a major sin two years ago! I have been trying so hard to stop but I can’t. I need proper guidance and advice on how I should leave it. Also, when I stop the urge, which is now limited to every weekend, I feel so depressed that I become rebellious and irritated with people around me.
I haven’t spoken about this to anyone yet. Please help me. I’m dying in this pit alone!
Jazakallah khair
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh
Respected Sister in Islam
This is a serious malady which results in major problems physically, and more importantly, also harms one spiritually. This “addiction” did not happen in one day or one month. It happened by repeatedly getting involved in this evil over time. Hence it is unreasonable to expect that the recovery will happen by doing something or reciting a few wazeefahs for a few days. You will have to seriously commit yourself to a “recovery program” with patience and diligence. If you persevere, insha-Allah you will overcome this malady.
Furthermore, it is in your interests that you make the utmost effort to overcome this evil NOW, otherwise, apart from the severe spiritual harms, this can create major complications in your marriage.
As for the “recovery program”, the most fundamental aspect is to develop the consciousness of Allah Ta‘ala. Without developing this to a high level, other efforts will not be really effective. We suggest that you undertake the following:
1. Daily recite istighfaar (astaghfirullah) and durood shareef 100 times each. Also make tilaawat of the Quraan Majeed daily.
2. For 5 minutes daily, reflect upon your death. Imagine the scene at the time of your own death, the people around you, you finally passing away, the ghusal etc. taking place, your janaazah being carried out, you being lowered into the narrow grave, the grave being closed, etc. Then make taubah. Also sometimes imagine that the pangs of death suddenly started while you are engaged in this evil. You are unable to move. You can merely shout. Your family came to assist and found you in this condition. What an embarrassment! And your life too leaving in this condition… Think about this and then make taubah and beg Allah Ta‘ala to save you from such disgrace. Do not regard this daily muraaqabah (meditation) as explained above as a secondary matter. This is a very effective remedy provided it is done properly and with regularity.
3. You will have to make a concerted effort to protect your gaze and keep your heart clean from filthy thoughts. Otherwise it will be almost impossible to avoid this evil habit. Whenever evil thoughts come to mind, immediately start thinking about your death. At that time also start making zikr of ‘Allah’ from the depth of the heart, like a desperate person pleading for help.
4. Daily read the book Fazaail e Sadaqaat (part 2) of Hazrat Shaikh Zakariyya (rahimahullah) for at least 5 minutes. Start off with reading the incidents of the pious mentioned towards the end of the book. Also daily read a portion of the book “Remedies to Spiritual Maladies”.
5. Keep a tasbeeh counter on your finger. This will serve as a reminder to, from time to time, keep making some zikr, tasbeeh, etc.
6. Every now and then, very consciously, recite a few times اِهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ with the intention of asking Allah Ta‘ala’s help to totally refrain from this evil.
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama