(Sayyidah Khadeejah [radhiyallahu ‘anha] – Part Six)
The disbelievers of Makkah Mukarramah had subjected the Muslims to severe torture and had even completely boycotted and ostracized them in the valley of Abu Taalib. Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) during these trying times. A few days after the boycott ended, Abu Taalib, the uncle of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) who took care of him and supported him, passed away without imaan. Three days thereafter, Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) also passed away. It was during the month of Ramadhaan, the 10th year after nubuwwah. Thus, within a few days, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) lost two pillars of support.
At the time of her demise, Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was sixty-five years old. She thus lived with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) for twenty-five years. She was buried in a place called Hajoon (which is presently known as Jannatul Mu‘alla – the graveyard of Makkah Mukarramah) and Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) himself went in her grave to lower her in. (Al-Isaabah vol. 8, pg. 103, Usdul Ghaabah vol. 5, pg. 265 and Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 18)
After her demise, Sayyidah Faatimah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) once enquired from Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), “Where is our mother, Khadeejah?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “In a house made of a hollowed pearl in which there is no ill speech nor any toil, between Maryam and Aasiyah.” (Tabraani – Majma‘uz Zawaaid #15263)
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would constantly reminisce Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) and make mention of her, to such an extent that Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) explains that although she had not seen Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha), she felt most possessive regarding her – more than what she felt regarding any other wife of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). She also explained that at times, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would even slaughter a goat, make it into portions and send it to the friends of Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). She would thus comment (due to natural possessiveness), “It is as if Khadeejah was the only woman in this world.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) would reply saying, “Indeed she was (like this) and she was (like that, extolling her virtues), and I had children from her.” (Saheeh Bukhaari #3818) Once Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) responded in the following words, “I have been bestowed with her love (i.e. Allah Ta‘ala has placed her love in my heart).” (Saheeh Muslim #6278)
Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) mentions that on one of the occasions in which Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) spoke highly of Sayyidah Khadeejah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) and praised her, she was overcome by a natural sense of possessiveness and thus remarked, “How often do you remember a woman whose gums were red (alluding to her old age) whereas Allah Ta‘ala has replaced you with better than her!” The colour of the blessed face of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) changed (out of anger) and he replied, “Allah has not replaced me with better than her. Undoubtedly, she had brought imaan in me when (the rest of) the people disbelieved in me, she regarded me to be truthful when (the rest of) the people belied me, she spent her wealth generously on me when the people had deprived me (of theirs), and Allah Ta‘ala granted me children through her whereas He did not give me children from other women.” (Musnad Ahmad #24864 & #25210)
N.B. The feeling of “ghairah” (which could be translated as “possessiveness”) is an absolutely natural quality in a woman and does not amount to sin, as long as it does not prompt her to act in an impermissible manner, such as harming the other person, etc.
Lessons:
1. Among the noble qualities of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is that he would never forget the favours and gestures of kindness which people had done to him. Rather, he would continue to express his appreciation for it and even reciprocate it. This would even continue after their demise as is evident from the above incidents.
2. When a wife treats her husband with kindness, serves him with love, and supports him through the ups and downs of life, he will generally be loyal to her and feel indebted towards her, even after her demise.
3. An important ingredient in a happy marriage is that the spouses must appreciate the favours and kindness of each other, and express their gratitude to each other. Focusing on the past favours will keep the spark of love alive between them even when they grow old.