(Saintly Women around Siddeeq [Part Ten] – Mother-in-law of Qari Siddeeq [rahimahullah])

The mother-in-law of Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah) was a very pious woman as well. She was known for her punctuality in performing Tahajjud Salaah. Among her outstanding qualities was the respectable manner in which she always conducted herself and the tact with which she would resolve issues.

When Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah) proposed, his father-in-law had already passed away and the proposal was thus placed before his mother-in-law. Although the piety and character of Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah) was well known to all, his poverty was such that it was unimaginable that his proposal would be accepted. However, his mother-in-law was a woman who understood the value of Deen and piety. She thus accepted the proposal for her daughter and sent her from a home which had every type of wealth to a home which possessed no material wealth but was filled with the wealth of Deen.

In that area and period, it was the norm that when the groom went to fetch his bride, he would take a dress for her to wear. The mother of Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah), despite her poverty, arranged for the best dress that she could afford and sent it with Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah).

When the dress was handed over to his mother-in-law, she noticed that on account of Qari Siddeeq’s (rahimahullah) poverty, the dress was of a poor quality and could not even match the ordinary clothing which her daughter wore on a daily basis.

However, she was now in a dilemma. If she made her daughter wear the dress at her own home in Baroli, before her own family, they would possibly laugh at her and embarrass her. On the other hand, if she did not wear the dress, her in-laws would feel hurt and embarrassed.

This was one occasion which served to highlight the tact with which she was blessed, as she took a course of action that saved the honour of both parties.

She made her daughter wear a beautiful dress and placed the dress which the mother of Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah) had sewn into a box and handed it to her daughter. She then instructed her to leave her home wearing her own dress, but to ensure that she changed into the dress which her husband had brought before entering his village, so that his mother and family would see her wearing their dress and be pleased.

(Tazkiratus Siddeeq vol. 1, pg. 603-606)

Lessons:

1. Although one may take wealth, beauty and other similar factors into consideration when a proposal is received, the main criteria by which the decision should be made is that of Deen and piety. If a man has the fear of Allah Ta‘ala, he will not abuse and hurt his wife. More importantly though, a pious spouse will assist one in the effort to earn Jannah.

2. Parents naturally love their children very deeply and wish the best for them. However, out of love for their children, they sometimes interfere too much, to the point where the marriage of the newlywed couple begins to suffer. Before doing anything, the parent should first ponder and think, “What effect will my action have on my child’s spouse? Will he/she be unhappy, embarrassed, etc.?” If tact and caution is exercised in this regard, the parents will be able to guide the children and see to their well-being without causing harm to their marriage.

3. A true Muslim is that person who ensures that he is not the means of the next person experiencing any harm or even the smallest discomfort. Discomfort is not restricted to the physical self. Rather, it can be emotional discomfort or even mental discomfort. The mother-in-law of Qari Siddeeq (rahimahullah) was so considerate when it came to the feelings of others that she went out of her way to devise a plan by which her daughter’s in-law would be saved from any embarrassment.