The Ansaar possessed such love for Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and eagerness to be part of his blessed family that if any of them had a daughter of marriageable age, they would not get her married until they had first ascertained whether Rasulullah (sallallah ‘alaihi wasallam) wished to marry her or not.
On one occasion, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) approached an Ansaari Sahaabi and asked, “Please give me your daughter’s hand in marriage.” The Ansaari Sahaabi was overjoyed and exclaimed, “Certainly! It will be our honour, O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), and our pleasure!” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then said, “However, I am not requesting her hand for myself.” The Sahaabi asked, “Then on whose behalf are you proposing, O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) responded, “On behalf of Julaibeeb.” Hearing this, the Sahaabi requested, “O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! Let me check with her mother.”
The Sahaabi then went to his wife and said, “The Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has asked for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” His wife responded, “Yes, and it will be my pleasure!” The Sahaabi then said, “Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is not asking for her hand for himself. Rather, he is proposing on behalf of Julaibeeb.”
When the mother heard this, she exclaimed, “What! Julaibeeb? Never! We will not get our daughter married to him! Did Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) not find someone better than Julaibeeb? We turned down far better proposals than Julaibeeb for our daughter!”
The reason for her responding in this manner was that Sayyiduna Julaibeeb (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) was short in stature and dark in complexion.
Thereafter, as the Sahaabi stood to leave the home and give their response to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), his daughter, who was listening from behind the curtain, asked, “Who sent the proposal for me?” When her mother informed her that the proposal had been sent by Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) himself, she said, “Are you rejecting the instruction of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)? If Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasalam) is pleased with him (as my husband), marry me to him, as it will never lead to my ruin!”
When the young girl spoke these words, her parents realized that she was right and said to her, “You have spoken the truth.” Her father thus returned to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and said, “If you are pleased with Julaibeeb (marrying our daughter), then we are also pleased with him.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alahi wasallam) responded, “I am indeed pleased with him.” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then performed her nikaah to Sayyiduna Julaibeeb (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), and made a special du‘aa for her saying, “O Allah! Shower immense goodness upon her, and do not make her life constrained and difficult!”
Sometime thereafter, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alauihi wasallam) and the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) went out in jihaad, and Allah Ta‘ala blessed them with victory. After the battle was concluded, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) began to search for the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) who had fallen and gained martyrdom. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) asked the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), “Is there anyone missing (i.e. fallen as a martyr)?” The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) answered in the affirmative, and named a few individuals. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then repeated the question, and they again named a few individuals.
When Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) enquired for the third time, the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) replied that they were unaware of anyone else missing. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) then said, “However, I cannot see Julaibeeb. Search for him among the fallen.” The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) thus searched, and on locating his body, they said to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), “O Rasul of Allah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam)! Here he is, beside the body of seven disbelievers whom he killed before he succumbed to their blows and died.”
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) stood over the body of Sayyiduna Julaibeeb (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and said, “He killed seven disbelievers before they managed to kill him!” Out of extreme happiness with the heroism, bravery and sacrifice of Julaibeeb (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) said twice or thrice, “He is from me and I am from him!”
The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) thereafter dug a grave for him. While the grave was being dug, instead of placing the body of Sayyiduna Julaibeeb (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) on a bier, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) carried it in his own blessed arms and thereafter placed it in the grave.
As far as his wife is concerned, then it is reported that on account of the special du‘aa that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) had made for her, there was no widow, among the Ansaar, who was more highly sought after (or more prosperous) than her.
(Musnad Ahmad #12393 & #19784)
Lessons:
1. The young girl of the Ansaar understood that if Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) had recommended something for her, then it must certainly and definitely be in her best interest. Hence, even though the recommendation did not outwardly appear attractive, she ensured that she accepted it. This should be the mindset of every believer – he should understand that the way of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) is not only the best way for him, it is the only way for him. If one does so, one will secure the immense blessings of the sunnah and will secure the pleasure of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), just as this Sahaabiyyah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) acquired the special du‘aa of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) due to which she enjoyed a respectful and comfortable life.
2. There is no harm in one marrying an attractive spouse. However, more important than the external appearance of the spouse is their character and commitment to Deen. In the absence of these qualities, the husband may destroy his wife’s worldly life (by oppressing her) and even worse – her Jannah (by leading her into sin).