Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
My husband has many female contacts on Facebook, BBM, and Twitter. He is often on his phone until past midnight. On one occasion, I happened to see the content on his phone, including some SMS messages to women with whom he was flirting. Ever since then, he has locked his phone with a password. I am extremely hurt and am becoming despondent. Please advise me on what I should do.
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
Your situation is indeed tragic and heartbreaking. Chatting with non-mahram females is also a form of zina. Every form of zina is a serious and major sin. Allah Ta‘ala declares “And do not go close to zina; verily, it is immoral and a path of deviation.” May Allah Ta‘ala grant your husband hidaayat and enable him to completely refrain from these haraam acts.
You clearly wish to resolve the issue in a manner that does not destroy your marriage. If you confront him directly on the issue, due to the “intoxication” of the haraam he is involved in, he may react in a way that could break the marriage. An intoxicated person is unable to think logically. He cannot see the glaring harm and destruction in the evil he is engaged in. He does not see the tears of those crying around him. He is oblivious to the pain and trauma that his family is suffering as a result of his actions.
Immoral and illicit activities of any kind gradually intoxicate a person more than alcohol and drugs. Eventually, he sinks into foolish and reckless behaviour, which he himself will later deeply regret, but by then it will be too late to undo the damage. May Allah Ta‘ala keep one and all in His protection.
THE ONLY REAL SOLUTION
Therefore the only real solution is to develop the consciousness of Allah Ta‘ala in his heart. Daily, for at least ten minutes, read the book Fazaail-e-Aa‘maal with the family. Encourage him to participate in the efforts of Deen and to keep the company of the pious. Create an atmosphere of Deen in the home. Ensure that salaah is performed on time, everyone in the family is reciting the Quraan Shareef, and engages in the recitation of tasbeehaat and zikr, etc. It is also extremely important to engage daily in du‘aa with great humility and sincerity.
Along with the above, it is vitally important to remove all the tools of vice from the home, such as the television, videos, music, magazines, etc.
May Allah Ta‘ala guide us all to the straight path and save us from the path of following haraam desires and destruction. Aameen.
Was Salaam
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama