A mother wishing to wean her child does not introduce him to a diet of solids overnight. She understands that the child’s digestive system cannot cope with such a sudden, drastic change, so she makes small, gradual adjustments to the diet.
Similarly, when a child becomes mature (reaches the age of puberty), it becomes obligatory upon him to perform the five daily salaah, fast during the month of Ramadhaan, and fulfil other compulsory acts of worship. If these obligatory ‘ibaadaat are enforced upon the child all at once, he may find it difficult to make an “overnight” change. Therefore, the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) would begin training their children to perform ‘ibaadaat long before they reached the age of puberty. One such example is the fast of ‘Aashuraa.
Sayyidah Rubayyi’ bintu Mu‘awwiz bin ‘Afraa (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) mentions that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) sent the following message to the various localities of the Ansaar on the morning of ‘Aashuraa, “Whoever began the day fasting should complete his fast, and whoever is not fasting should complete the day without eating.”
Sayyidah Rubayyi’ (radhiyallahu ‘anha) further explains, “After that (announcement), we would ensure that we fasted (on the day of ‘Aashuraa, in the years that followed) and would even make our small children fast. We would make toys out of wool for them, and when one of them would cry for food, we would give him the toy (to distract him) until iftaar.” (Saheeh Bukhaari #1960)
In this way, the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) ensured that their children became accustomed to acts of worship from a young age, to the point where such practices became second nature to them.
In the commentary of the above hadeeth, Imaam Nawawi (rahimahullah), the great commentator of Saheeh Muslim, comments that this hadeeth explains the importance of training children to carry out virtuous actions and getting them accustomed to ‘ibaadaat. (Sharhun Nawawi – Saheeh Muslim vol. 1, pg. 360)
Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has also guided us to train our children in this gradual and consistent manner. He instructed that children should be taught to perform salaah at the age of seven and should be disciplined for neglecting salaah at the age of ten, emphasizing the importance of giving the child the correct training early in life. (Sunan Abi Dawood #494)
When a tree is still a young sapling, it is easy to guide its growth and ensure that it grows straight. But if left unattended, it will grow crooked, and once it becomes firm in its crookedness, straightening it becomes extremely difficult.
Similarly, to adequately train the child for duties he will face later on in life is actually kindness to the child – not cruelty. If we do not inculcate the Islamic way of behaving, dressing and speaking and the habit of ‘ibaadah into our children from a young age, thinking the child is “still too small,” then when they are “too big,” it may be too late to correct them.