Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
Alhamdulillah, I have decided to start wearing the niqaab. However, my parents are not allowing me, saying that I am too young. This upsets me greatly.
Please advise
Jazaakallahu Khairan
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister
Masha Allah, you have made the correct and noble decision to adopt the niqaab. May Allah Ta‘ala accept your resolve, bless you with steadfastness, and make this step a means of gaining His pleasure and protection.
You should remain completely respectful and obedient towards your parents at all times. Not a single word of disrespect should ever be uttered, nor should anything be expressed in a tone or manner that conveys disrespect. However, while maintaining utmost respect, you should quietly and consistently continue to adopt the niqaab.
If possible, request a senior, level-headed and respected member of the family to kindly speak to your parents and explain that the niqaab is an important aspect of Islamic modesty, and that they should not prevent you from practising it. In fact, they should encourage and support you in this noble endeavour.
Another effective way to win their hearts is to write them a very polite and loving letter. Begin by expressing your deep love and gratitude to them for all that they have done for you. Acknowledge their sacrifices and kindness, and mention how grateful you are for having such caring parents. Then, explain that you wish to please Allah Ta‘ala by practising on the commands of sharee‘ah, one of which is for a woman to observe proper purdah. Humbly request their understanding and support in taking this step. End your letter by once again expressing your love and appreciation for them.
You could write something along the following lines: “Allah Ta‘ala has blessed me with so much: loving parents, good health, and countless other bounties. I wish to try to do more to please my Creator. I know that I have many weaknesses, but I want to start improving myself by adopting what is right. I have learnt that among the important aspects for a Muslim woman is to observe proper purdah. I have thus decided to take this step, and I hope that you will support me in this effort.”
Remember that our primary allegiance is to our Creator and Sustainer, Allah Ta‘ala. Parents must always be treated with utmost respect and kindness. However, if their instruction conflicts with a clear directive of the sharee‘ah, the command of Allah Ta‘ala will take precedence. If, despite your best efforts, your parents remain displeased, continue patiently on the correct path, make du‘aa for them, and maintain your respect and affection towards them.
May Allah Ta‘ala assist you, strengthen you in your noble intention, and make your parents supportive and pleased with your decision.
Was Salaam
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama