Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was one of the noble wives of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Allah Ta‘ala had not only blessed her with outstanding beauty, but also with great intelligence and deep understanding. (Al-Isaabah vol. 8, pg. 406)
She thus benefitted greatly from the companionship of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) and acquired vast knowledge of Deen. Hence, she reports no less than 378 ahaadeeth from Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). (Mir-aatuz Zamaan vol. 8, pg. 807) She was also counted from the among the jurists of the Sahaabiyyaat (radhiyallahu ‘anhunna). (Siyaru Aa’laamin Nubalaa vol. 3, pg. 100) Furthermore, due to her intelligence, there were many pertinent questions, especially relating to women, that she had posed to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) as well.
The high level of her intelligence and understanding can be clearly gauged from the role that she played in the incident of Hudaibiyyah:
In the year 6 A.H., Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was shown a dream by Allah Ta‘ala in which he, together with his Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), entered Makkah Mukarramah in peace and performed ‘umrah. When Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) informed the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) of this dream, their hearts were filled with the desire to see the Baytullah once again, after so many years, and to perform ‘umrah. Accordingly, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) donned his ihraam and departed from Madeenah Munawwarah at the beginning of the month of Zul Qa’dah.
When the Quraish heard of their intention, they formed an army in opposition and were determined to prevent them from entering Makkah Mukarramah and performing ‘umrah. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) eventually halted in Hudaibiyyah, a place 9 miles from Makkah Mukarramah, and it was from here that he communicated and negotiated with the Quraish. Ultimately, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) signed a peace treaty with the Quraish and agreed to return to Madeenah Munawwarah without performing ‘umrah that year. The peace treaty itself appeared to be one-sided and in favour of the Quraish. The nature of this treaty and the disappointment of leaving without performing ‘umrah was extremely difficult and painful for the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) to bear.
Nevertheless, in order to come out of the state of ihraam, it was necessary for them to slaughter animals and shave their heads. However, when Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) instructed the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) to do so, they did not appear to respond. Eventually, after instructing them three times, with no response, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was affected by this and became upset. So, he went to Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha), who had accompanied him on this journey, and lay down. He then complained to her saying, “I am surprised, O Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha)! I instructed the people multiple times to slaughter the animals, shave their heads and come out of ihraam, yet not a single one of them responded. They are listening to what I am saying and are looking at my face (and not carrying it out)!”
Due to her deep understanding, Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) understood that the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), who were normally always prepared to make much bigger sacrifices for Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), were not intentionally ignoring the command of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Rather, they were totally consumed by their emotions at that time.
She also perhaps understood that they were under the impression that coming out of ihraam was merely a concession that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) was giving them out of consideration. Hence, they thought that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) himself would remain in ihraam, and this is why they were reluctant to shave their heads and slaughter their animals.
Hence, she said to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), “If you wish for that (i.e. for them to comply), go out and slaughter your animal and also call your barber to shave your head. Do not say a single word to anyone of them, since they are consumed by a serious issue. On seeing you, they would emulate you.”
Accordingly, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) did so, and the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) rushed to slaughter their animals and remove their hair. (Saheeh Bukhaari #2731 & Fat-hul Baari and Al-Maghaazi vol. 2, pg. 614)
Thus, by offering this brilliant suggestion, Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) relieved Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) from great anxiety and distress, as well as maintained the respect and regard that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) always had for his noble companions (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), which otherwise could have been affected due to this situation.
Lessons:
1. This excellent suggestion of Sayyidah Ummu Salamah (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was a clear indication of the profound understanding and great intellect that she possessed. She understood human psychology and behaviour so well that she realized that the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) did not mean to deliberately disobey Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Rather, they were overcome by the emotional situation that they were in.
2. A healthy marriage is one wherein each spouse supports the other, especially when they are experiencing some anxiety or difficulty. Unfortunately, at times, instead of bringing relief and comfort, the spouse begins to taunt and blame his partner for the predicament and problem which he finds himself in. This is being very insensitive and cruel to one’s life partner.
3. In our day to day interactions, we come across potentially ‘explosive’ situations. Instead of fuelling the fire, and making things worse, we must look for ways to downplay it and calm the situation. At times, a simple suggestion may do the trick and bring about an atmosphere of peace and understanding.