Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was the daughter of Sayyiduna Abu Bakr Siddeeq (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and the half-sister of Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha). Sayyiduna Abu Bakr (radhiyallahu ‘anhu) had divorced the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) during the pre-Islamic era, thereafter marrying Sayyidah Ummu Rumaan (radhiyallahu ‘anha) who later bore him Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anha).
During the period of the treaty of Hudaibiyah, the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) came to Madeenah Munawwarah accompanied by her son, Haarith. Her name was Qutailah, and she had not accepted Islam. On arriving in Madeenah Munawwarah, she wished to visit her daughter, Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha). She had brought gifts for her, and also wished to seek financial assistance from Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha).
As soon as Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) saw that her mother had come to visit, she refused to accept her gifts and did not allow her into her home, as she had not accepted Islam – even though it had been more than six years since she had last met her mother!
Instead, she sent a message to her half-sister, Sayyidah ‘Aaishah (radhiyallahu ‘anhu), requesting her to convey the following question to Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam), “My mother has come to visit me, and she also wishes for some financial assistance from me. What should I do? Should I maintain my relationship with her?” Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) replied, “Yes, she should maintain her relationship with her mother. She should allow her into her home and she should accept the gifts as well.”
Only after securing the permission of Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) did Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) allow her mother into her home, show her kindness and accept her gifts.
(Saheeh Bukhaari #2620, Fat-hul Baari and Tabaqaat Ibni Sa’d vol. 8, pg. 252)
Lessons:
1. The primary concern of the Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) was securing thehappiness of Allah Ta‘ala. Due to the mother of Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) not being a Muslim, she was unsure whether it was permissible or not for her to accept her gifts and allow her into the home. Hence, to ensure that she did not disobey Allah Ta‘ala, she immediately acquired guidance from Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam). Similarly, we should ensure that we remain linked to the pious ‘Ulama (keeping within the parameters of sharee‘ah) so that we can seek guidance in all branches of life, thus always remaining in the happiness of Allah Ta‘ala.
2. The demand of imaan is that we put Allah Ta‘ala and Deen before our emotions. Sayyidah Asmaa (radhiyallahu ‘anha) was obviously affected by the sight of her mother, especially after such a long period of separation. However, she put her emotions aside and first ensured that she was pleasing Allah Ta‘ala. The Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum) valued their relationship with Allah Ta‘ala more than their relationship with their own parents, children, etc.