Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
I have just finished matric. My parents want me to go to university next year. I have many friends and family who are in university so I know of the fitnahs and sins that are part of campus life. I heard just recently of a girl who we all knew to be pious, that she met a Hindu boy on campus and wishes to marry him. I don’t want to put my imaan on the line by going to university and being exposed to these fitnahs.
Please advise me as to how I can explain my concerns to my parents and convince them.
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barkaatuh
Respected Sister in Islam
First of all, we commend you on your concern for the safety of your imaan. The protection of one’s imaan is one’s greatest priority. May Allah Ta‘ala always inspire you to safeguard your imaan.
While the challenges and onslaught on imaan and Deen are almost everywhere, they are intensified on university campuses and at tertiary institutions. Hence, the university environment is a risky place for anyone. However, for a woman, it is an even more severe issue, since the Quraan Majeed explicitly commands women to ‘remain firmly within your homes’ (Surah Ahzaab, v33) and not leave their houses except for such purposes which the sharee‘ah sanctions. Going to university is definitely not sanctioned by the sharee‘ah. You should therefore, very respectfully decline this suggestion. Do not utter even a single word of disrespect to your parents. However, it is not permissible to obey an impermissible command of any person. Therefore, do not give in and be patient. Allah Ta‘ala will reward you abundantly in both worlds.
Advice to Parents:
Many parents insist on sending their daughters to university. They are either unaware of the dangers or are unconcerned about the Deen, imaan and hayaa (modesty and shame) of their daughters. The following are some points to consider, which were highlighted by people who themselves spent considerable time on campus:
· It is standard practice that boys and girls intermingle. They are often given group assignments to complete, and have to closely engage with a male ‘partner’. This close engagement often leads to zina.
· While many parents console themselves that everything is fine since their innocent daughter goes to university in a cloak and scarf, in many instances it is very far from fine. There have been many cases where shortly after the cloak-clad daughter was dropped off at university, she un-cloaked herself and walked around in jeans and a top. She then dons the cloak before she is fetched in the afternoon.
· In several instances, shortly after being dropped off by the parents at campus, the ‘innocent’ daughter was picked up by some boy. After spending the day away from campus, she is then again dropped off at the university before the parent arrives.
· Many Muslim girls, for the first time in their lives, took drugs or consumed alcohol on campus. This eventually led to total addiction.
· Parents intending to send their daughters to university should visit places such as the ‘basement’ or the canteen. If there is any fervor of imaan, they will be shocked after witnessing what goes on in these places.
· One of the most serious aspects is the exposure to many false and even kufr ideologies. Allah Ta‘ala forbid – several young people at university have adopted the kufr fallacy of evolution as their belief. Some even became open atheists. May Allah Ta‘ala protect.
Therefore, save the imaan, Deen and hayaa of your daughter by saving her from being thrown into the vicious environment of the university.
Answered by:
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama