I write this with a very heavy heart. My sister is married to a man who is a practicing Muslim and a pious person, who is very close to ‘Ulama.
He is sometimes the best husband in the world to her, but then he “goes off”, and it happens all the time. She has lost her self-confidence and health due to the constant tension.
He doesn’t like the fact that he has in-laws and takes advantage because he knows my father will not tell him anything. Because of his unfriendly behaviour towards my family, no one likes him, yet he speaks nicely to his friends and own family.
I have always encouraged my sister to go out of her way with her in-laws and to try harder with her husband. We hardly visit my sister because he doesn’t like us to come, and he creates a ruckus if their kids come to visit their maternal grandparents.
We are a happy family Alhamdulillah. However, he is the only factor that is splitting the family apart.
Please advise us.
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
Respected Sister in Islam
You referred to the person in question as a practising and pious Muslim. However, anyone who adopts the very negative conduct described by you is not practising on the Islamic laws of mu‘aasharat (social life) and akhlaaq (good character). A practising and pious Muslim is one who practises on all the laws of Deen.
Since the person in question is close to some ‘Ulama, you may consider writing to the person whom he respects much and takes advice from. Explain the situation to him. Insha-Allah, if he takes the advice, he will improve in his ways.
Also ask your sister to do the following:
1. Daily conduct ta’leem of the Fazaail-e-Aa’maal and Fazaail-e-Sadaqaat for at least ten minutes. Encourage him to participate but do not insist. If he does not join, you sit and read the kitaab with your children. Insha-Allah if you consistently do this, you will see the difference. In particular, after a few weeks, make ta’leem of the section of maintaining family ties from Fazaail-e-Sadaqaat.
2. Daily recite “Ya Subboohu Ya Quddoosu Ya Ghafooru Ya Wadoodu” 7 times and make du‘aa.
Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama