Question:
Assalaamu ‘alaikum
Respected ‘Ulama
Please advise me. I am married to a learned person and have been together for many years. When I first met him, I was on a misguided path, but Alhamdulillah he guided me. I stopped communicating with all my male friends and relatives, and now I perform my salaah regularly, fast in Ramadhaan, and attend the ta’leem every day. We have five children together.
However, my husband spends a great deal of time on his phone with women. He hides his phone from me, keeps it on silent when at home, and goes out almost every night with friends, or so I assume. I cannot handle this situation anymore and humbly seek your guidance.
Jazaakallahu Khairan
Answer:
Bismihi Ta‘ala
Respected Sister
Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh
1. In light of the situation you have described, we suggest that you approach a senior, experienced ‘Aalim who is familiar with your husband, or one of his teachers whom he may respect or maintain contact with. Inform them of the matter and request that they intervene and talk to your husband. If such a person is not available, you may speak to a senior, level-headed family member who can handle the situation appropriately.
2. Immediately commence with ta’leem in the home.
3. Encourage your husband to develop an islaahi (reformation) link with a pious person.
4. While this situation is indeed painful, in the meantime, try to conceal your distress as much as possible and show extra care and affection towards your husband. Demonstrate this through kind treatment, thoughtful cooking, neat dressing, or giving simple gifts. Strive to win his heart with affection, and insha Allah, this may help guide him away from any improper behaviour or contact.
May Allah Ta‘ala grant your husband the tawfeeq to abandon all wrongdoing and bless you with true happiness in your marriage.
Was Salaam